Tag: complex medical needs

Categories
Special Needs Family Life

How To Stay Organised As A Busy Mom

Being a Mom can be hectic. So an element of organisation is needed to avoid absolute chaos. I am a stay-at-home Mom of three, among everything else included in that job role (cook, made launder, teacher and so on). 

Two of my three children have additional needs, my son, Zachary has Autism. My daughter, Avery has Cerebral Palsy, Dystonia, Severe Reflux and is 100% g tube fed. I’m also working on building my brand, creating content, YouTube videos, blog posts, Instagram posts, as well as building my Etsy shop with digital products. 

Being organised isn’t just something that helps life run smoothly for me. It is the very pinnacle of my coping strategy. Without organisation, I become overrun, overwhelmed and quite frankly, at the edge of breaking point. 

There’s a few simple things I have added into my daily life and routine, to make sure I keep control of what I can. After all, organisation really is the control of what you will and wont do. 

I’m sharing these things with you all because, well, hopefully some of you may find it helpful. Whether that’s because you find some of these tips handy, or maybe you have a similarly chaotic life to me, and can just relate. Plus, organisation is my thing, so writing a blog post about it is an enjoyable way to spend my time. (Yes, I am sad).

So, without further a due, here are my tips on how to stay organised as a busy Mom. 

How To Stay Organised As A Busy Mom

Tackle the bulk of your to do list in the morning.

Have you ever noticed that if you eat breakfast first thing in the morning, it kick starts your appetite? Odd comparison, I know, but I like to think its simalar with productivity. I find that if I do something that productive first thing in the morning, it drives me to continue to be productive. You’re essentially starting the day as you mean to go on, setting off on the right note, and those are the best kind of days. 

Not only that, if I can tackle my to do list as early in th day as possible, I know the rest of my day is carefree. I can just spend time with my children and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment. 

Don’t delay the small tasks.

This is a mistake! Little tasks have a big way of building up until you have a to do list a mile long. I don’t know about you guys, but I find when a task wont take my long, it appears as less of a priority. Therefore I tend to procrastinate and the job just doesn’t get done, it gets put off and buried into that space in my mind of all the little things I must get done until that space is bursting at the seams. 

As a general rule, if a task makes its way onto your to do list, and you know it will only take ten minutes or less, get it done! Don’t put it off. You’ll feel better having that little tick on your list. 

Which brings me onto my next tip.

Me and my three beautiful children

Write lists. Lists, lists and more lists. 

My husband thinks I make things over complicated, I disagree. The more detailed I make my planning the more at ease I feel. That’s where lists come in. 

The mind can often feel liberated when everything has been pulled from it and written onto paper (or phone, tablet etc since were in a modern world).

I can often feel incredibly overwhelmed when I know I have a lot of things to do, but when I write it down, my to do list seems a whole lot less intimidating and more manageable, my mind feels instantly clearer and I feel more motivated. 

This next tip kind of goes hand in hand with the last…

Write things down!

You know how annoying it is when you know you need something, or need to do something, but you can’t quite remember what that something is? I know, I’ve been there.

Best way to combat this? Write it down, straight away. 

Whether its a scribble on paper or a quick note in an app on your phone, you’ll thank yourself for not playing the guessing game of ‘remember the thing’.

I’ve found this incredibly helpful when it comes to planning my YouTube videos. Creativity often sparks when I’m all cosy and comfy in bed. There’s been times where I’ve trusted my brain to remember til morning and my brain did me dirty. 

Now, I just grab my phone and jot a quick few words into my notes. This will do until I have time to properly add that idea into my content calendar. 

What a day in our life looks like

Use a daily or weekly planner. 

This is an absolute must for me, as a matter of fact, I have a calendar for our whole family, a paper planner as a backup, and my digital planner. 

I have a busy life, it full of hospital appointments, school functions, therapies and extra curricular activities, and that’s just my children’s stuff. 

There would be absolutely no way I would remember anything if i didn’t have my days planned out. 

I like a planner that keeps everything in one place. Things that I know I need to keep track of every week or month, this is usually things like food shopping lists, monthly finances and of course, my to do lists. 

This is exactly why i created my own. I took everything I thought would be needed in a week to week planner and made it in one simple document, which i imported into my GoodNotes app. It’s been an absolute game changer, and I have to say, I’m totally converted from paper to digital planning. 

My digital planner available on my Etsy shop
Shop my planner

If you prefer traditional pen and paper, I recommend the planners from https://sotypicalme.co.uk/ they’re completely customisable from what you need space for in your planner right down to the front page and binder colour. 

Whether you chose physical or digital. A planner is a non negotiable. Planning your time wisely is a life skill not to be taken for granted. 

How do you plan your time wisely? You may ask.

This is where prioritising comes in. When you know what your tasks are for the day, decide which are the most important. This is most likely going to be appointments or meetings that have other people involved. 

Once you’ve worked out where your primary focus should be, organise the rest of your tasks in a similar way, highest to lowest priority. Plan to tackle your lower priority tasks at a time when you know you may be distracted.

Challenge your time. 

There’s nothing like some healthy competition. Especially when you’re competing with time. As a busy Mom I find I only get short burst of time where I can focus all of my attention on one thing (this is usually my daughter’s nap time).

Avery’s naps are not consistent, but I know she will usually sleep for at least 20 minutes. So for that 20 minutes, I set myself a challenge. Whether that’s a speed clean of the house, writing a blog post or editing a video, if I know I’m on a time crunch, I’m much less likely to be distracted. 

All that hard work deserves a reward, right?

With that being said, don’t forget to give yourself some incentive. 

If you know your going to be rewarded for the work you put in you’re much more likely to put some effort into it. 

This doesn’t have to be over complicated. If you get that load of washing put away, allow yourself to sit down and watch an episode of your favourite TV show. 

Following on from this…

Allow yourself time to rest.

This tip I am incredibly guilty of not implementing into my life. I have anxiety, so it’s in my chemical makeup to never want to sit still. But even I know that if you don’t allow your body to take a break and catch up you’re going to reach a point of burnout. 

Trust me, I know!

Everything should be in moderation. Work hard, play hard. 

My last tip is probably the most important. 

Be prepared not to be prepared. 

As much as I would love it to be, life isn’t as simple as making a list and working your way through it. 

Life is.. well, life! Sometimes it has other plans. Some circumstances aren’t always foreseen. Appreciate the fact that you can’t always have control of every situation and sometimes things need to be adjusted. The ability to adapt is one of the best skills you can learn and implement into your life. 

I hope you enjoyed these tips and maybe even found them helpful. For my life, being organised has helped provide me with clarity, and a sense of control over my own life.

Categories
Blended Diet Feeding Tube

Starting A Blended Diet For G Tube Feeding & Easy Recipes

(Disclaimer: This blog post contains affiliate links, if you use my link to make a purchase, I will receive a small commission. There is no additional charge to you. I appreciate your support so I continue to provide you with new content)

My daughter Avery has been tube fed almost her entire life. She went from having an NG tube to a G tube, and this summer, I decided to start transitioning her onto a blended diet.

What Is A Blended Diet?

If you’re familiar with tube feeding, then you’re probably familiar with ready-made feed. It’s designed with tube feeding in mind, and from my experience, it doesn’t smell or taste very good. They also have a very intimidating looking ingredients list.

A blended diet is pretty much what is says on the tin. Real food, blended.

Is A Blended Diet Right For Me?

I made the decision to transition Avery onto a blended diet after lots of research, consulting with her medical professionals and gaining a lot of information and advice from her dietician. If you’re considering making the change – I would strongly suggest you do the same.

There was a few reasons I decided to make the change.

Avery has severe reflux. Giving her a blended diet means we can control and trial the foods we give to her. Of course, there are obvious foods that we can avoid like citrus fruits and tomatoes, but we can also observe to see if there are any other foods that she is more sensitive to and adjust.

The idea that she is having food instead of feeds is comfortable, it feels more like she is having meals. We can even blend whatever were having and involve her in our meal times.

I won’t lie, it’s probably not the easiest and most convenient option. I live in the UK, so Avery’s G tube feed was always supplied to us through the NHS, it’s ready made and ready to go.

With a blended diet, you need to buy the foods you will be blending – if course it shouldn’t make too much of a difference if you’re blending the meals you’re already making, but this isn’t always the case. Like I said, Avery has reflux – so there are a lot of foods that we eat that we would prefer to avoid for Avery. You then also need to prepare, cook and blend the food. It’s a bit of a process, especially if you chose to batch.

Another reason I chose to give Avery a blended diet is, well – the goal is to get her eating. With a blended diet she can taste her food. Giving her a few tastes of her blend before it goes down her g tube will help her associate tasting food with the feeling of fullness. I haven’t tested this theory yet, but it makes sense, and it’s definitely something we can build on.

The very beginning of our blended diet journey

Let’s Talk Blenders

The blender you chose can have an impact on the options and food you can include in a blended diet. There are affordable options, but you might find these just won’t blend everything, like ground beef for example. Food has to be really smooth to avoid blocking the tube (which we have done a few times – it’s all trial and error).

I invested in a Vitamix Explorian E310, and from what I can tell this is the entry level Vitamix, but it still has a hefty £399 price tag! I won’t lie I wept a little when I said goodbye to almost £400 for a blender – A BLENDER!

But, from the research I had done, the Vitamix seemed to be top dog, and capable of blending just about anything. I already had to restrict Avery’s diet because of Reflux, I didn’t want to have to restrict it any further.

You can find the blender we chose here – https://sovrn.co/19h2gc9

Calories And Volume

A lot of tubies can be volume sensitive – the good thing about the g tube feed is that its easy to figure out the calories, and Avery’s Compleat Paediatric was 1.2 calories per ml – so pretty calorie dense which meant we could get away with a lower volume.

This is something to think about if you’re considering a blended diet. Your blends need to be smooth and thin enough to pass through the g tube, and not all foods, particularly fruit and vegetables are high in calories, so sometimes it can be a little bit tricky to make sure you’re reaching your advised calorie requirement.

With that being said a lot of people like the blended diet as you can work with portion sized instead of calories. There are also low volume, high calorie foods that can be added to any blend, like peanut butter or olive oil.

Whether you chose calorie counting or portion sizes – you should always keep an eye on your weight gain/loss. Obviously this is more important in babies and children, Avery is only 18 months old and still growing, so it’s important for us to weigh her regularly to make sure she is getting enough nutrients to keep her healthy and growing – but these are all things you will have discussed with your medical professionals.

The reason I purchased the Vitamix – My batch cooking disaster

Starting A Blended Diet

If you or your tubie already eat some food orally, you’re at a great starting point, especially if they’ve explored a wide range of foods. Avery had only eaten small tastes of purees, and we hadn’t explored many allergens. So I started with simple blends of foods she had eaten orally that I knew she tolerated and likely wasn’t allergic to.  

For nil by mouth tubies – I’ve heard starting with a simple bone broth and adding from there is a good way to go.

From this point on I found the best way to move forward it to think of it as baby weaning. Simple foods at first, no added salts or sugars, and only introducing a new allergen every three days.

My Recipes

I’m not sure if I could call these recipes as such, but these are the blends I’m making now – Avery is still early in her blended diet journey. So our blends are easy and simple.

As Avery has reflux, you will notice I use some diary substitutes – she is not dairy free, but the fat in dairy can make reflux worse, like I said, it’s all trial and error.

We also add prune juice to some of Avery’s blends – this is purely because we like to use banana, it’s hearty and high in calories, but it can be constipating, so we use prune juice to help counteract that.

You can of course, adjust all of these recipes – but the basic consensus to remember is to include all food groups – protein, carbohydrates, fruit and vegetables, fibre and fats.

Banana, Baby Porridge, Peanut Butter & Prune Juice

This was our first blend – It’s high in calories, all food groups are there and it’s simple. Baby cereal is a great carbohydrate for first blends, especially if your tubie is little, it’s easy to blend and the baby porridge I use is oat free – peanut butter is an allergen, remember to only incorporate one allergen every three days.

Scrambled Egg, Avocado, Bread & Soya Milk

Bread, avocado, scrambled egg & soya milk

I found this to be a nice savoury option. I used brown bread and treated it as an allergen because of the wheat. Just remember when chilling or freezing blends with egg, meat or fish – you need to reheat it to 75 degrees Celsius to kill off any bacteria.

Chicken, Sweet Potato & Carrot

You can use any liquid to thin this one down, we just used soya milk as its what we keep for Avery’s blends. Chicken is a great source of protein and its high in calories. I did notice that I couldn’t get this blend smooth enough until I had purchased the Vitamix.

Blueberries, Coconut Yoghurt & Farley’s Rusks

Farley’s Rusks, coconut yoghurt & blueberries

I didn’t end up needing an additional liquid for this blend. I soaked the rusks in hot water turn them into a puree before adding to my blender. Blueberries are considered brain food and full of anti-oxidants.

You can see the general rule with all of these blends, they cover all food groups and they’re fairly simple foods with mild flavours.

Like I said you can switch up these recipes easily if you follow the general rule.

You can use a variety of fruit and vegetables, I tend to stick to ones that blend nicely and don’t have seeds, I tried using raspberries once and it resulted in an emergency tube change.

Cereals are a great source of carbohydrate and fibre – I have soaked Cheerios for blends, and I have used Weetabix. I haven’t tried oats yet as Avery once had a reaction to an oat-based baby lotion so were a little hesitant, but oats a very nutritious and a great food to use, just treat it as an allergen.

For proteins, you can explore meat, fish and eggs for savoury blends, and dairy is a great way to add protein to sweeter, breakfast-style blends.

I hope this helps. In case I didn’t get my point across throughout this blog post, please consult with your medical professionals and dietician before making this transition – blended diet may not be for everyone.

Categories
Special Needs Family Life

Disneyland With Disabled Children

Some of the links in this blog may be affiliate links. Please rest assured I will only link to products I would actually recommend to you.

We recently returned from a short trip to one of the most magical place on Earth – Disneyland Paris. 

We travelled as a whole family of six – myself, my husband and our four children, three of them you will be familiar with, Zachary who is 9, Eli who is six and Avery who is 17 months, my step son Marley, who is 10 also accompanied us so we could experience the magic as an entire family.

If you’re not new to my blogs, Instagram or Youtube channel then you will know that two of my children have additional needs, Zachary has Autism and Avery has a range of complex medical needs, including Cerebral Palsy, Dystona and she is 100% g tube fed. 

Anyone of you that has travelled with children will know that it is no small feat, you almost need a holiday to recover from the holiday, but… when some of those children have additional and complex medical needs, the process can be a whole lot more challenging. 

I did a lot in the lead up to our trip to make sure we were covered for every eventuality – after all it’s not uncommon for Avery to need an impromptu hospital visit every now and then. So I wanted to make sure we were fully prepared for all scenarios. 

The Logistics

Our trip was booked on a ‘budget’ – I use this term loosely because, well Disney is far from cheap! But we opted for a lot of the less expensive options. 

We chose to travel from Gatwick Airport as they had the cheapest flights to Charles De Gaulle (CDG) Airport, which meant we already had a long stretch of travel before we even made it to the plane, the drive from home was around five hours! We flew with Easy Jet – again because they offered the cheapest flights.

We stayed at B&B Hotel which is a Disney partner hotel, this seemed like the smartest option as they offered a free shuttle to and from the Disneyland Parks. We would have loved to stay on site – but that just wasn’t in our budget. We booked directly through the Disneyland Paris website, it was a hotel and ticket package. We found that outsourcing our travel was the much cheaper option.

For transfers to and from our hotel we went with the Magical Shuttle, at the time it seemed like the most affordable and convenient way to travel as a family of six – but I’ll get to more about that in a minute. 

The Preparations

I did a ton of research when we booked our trip, what to take, what to do, what to prepare for our special needs children, if you’re thinking of travelling to Disneyland and you or your children have additional needs, hopefully the next few paragraphs will save you some time.

Airport Assistance

The first thing I did was arrange special assistance with the airline we were flying with, which was Easy Jet. This was a pretty simple process, you just have to select the option in your account, the rest is done at the Airport itself.

Insurance 

Next was travel insurance, this was a big one (obviously), everyone needs travel insurance, but we found that your standard, commercial companies wouldn’t insure Zach or Avery. The two companies we did find with decent policies and were specialised in the medical side were goodtogoinsurance.com and staysure.co.uk.

For this trip we went with goodtogo.

Now I wont lie, the insurance ate a fair chunk of our budget, but you can never be too careful, right?

To go alongside our insurance, I also ordered a UK Global Health Insurance Card for each member of our family. This card lets you get state healthcare in Europe at a reduced cost or sometimes even free. Needless to say, we needed neither the insurance or the card, but I felt much more at ease knowing we were covered.

Medical Documents

One of my biggest fears was that we would get turned away from either security or customs at the airport – Avery had a lot of specialised feed and medicines, one of which contained a controlled substance. I wanted to take proof on top of proof that it would be a catastrophe if that happened (and it would be!).

I made sure I had printed up to date prescriptions for every one of Avery’s medicines. Alongside that I also had her Paediatrician write a letter confirming Avery did indeed need her medicines, feed and equipment. Did we end up needing this? No. Am I still glad we took the? For my sanity, absolutely.

Storing The Feed

Avery’s particular feed needs to be refrigerated between uses, and since we were facing 29 degree days I knew a cooler bag just wasn’t going to cut it. We ended up taking twelve bottles of Avery’s Compleat Paediatric – one for every feed while we were away from home. This was an absolute, last case scenario – I didn’t love the idea of wastage, one bottle would usually cover three feeds. But… in the worst case then at least Avery had enough of her feed.

I contacted Disneyland Paris directly, and they kindly responded fairly quickly, letting me know they had a first aid centre in each park, where I could store Avery’s medicine. Now the feed, I will say was a grey area, they don’t normally allow you to store food or baby milk there, but if I had proof that Avery’s feed was a specialised G tube feed then it would be a problem. So I added another piece of paper to our folder – a letter from Avery’s dietician confirming that was the case. 

Our hotel also agreed to storing her feed in their fridges while we were there – although I don’t think this would have been the case had it not been a g tube feed. 

Priority Access Cards 

This is Disneyland Paris’ Disability scheme as it were – they have two types of access cards, Easy Access Cards and Priority Access cards, in our case the priority cards were what we applied for as we would benefit the most from them.

Now Disneyland Paris is strict compared to Disneyworld’s DAS system (or so I’ve heard). At Disneyland Paris you actually need to prove you, or your child has the difficulties you’re claiming. This needs to be some form of documentation, there’s a list of acceptable forms of proof on their website. 

I was able to pre-register for Zachary and Avery’s access cards thirty days before our trip on the Disneyland website (I will leave a link below). I just needed to answer a few questions, fill out a few details and provide a picture of each of them. I was then presented with a code which I needed to take to City Hall on our first park day, along with our documents.    

I believe if you are staying on site you can also collect your access cards directly from your hotel. 

Side note – B&B Hotel do not have kettles in the rooms. This is a non-negotiable for us as we still use sterile water for Avery’s flushes. So we purchased a very inexpensive travel kettle from eBay.  

That was all the research and planning sorted, the next hurdle was packing. That’s a whole other story so I won’t go into that. But if you are interested in seeing that process I have a pack with me video on my Youtube channel. 

So let’s get into our actual experience…

Travel Day 

Travelling to the airport was a dream (apart from the lack of sleep, and by lack of I mean none). We left home at 11:30pm and made the five-hour drive to the airport. Avery slept the entire way and the boys seemed comfortable despite the fact that our seven seat Nissan was full to the brim. 

We arrived at the airport at around 5am and headed straight for the special assistance desk. They presented Zachary with a sunflower lanyard and helped us drop off our one suitcase (this in itself made special assistance worth it as we skipped the very long que). 

We then proceeded through a separate security which was much quieter, and we felt a lot less pressure when it took us forever to offload all of our liquids and medicines into their plastic boxes. 

A couple of us needed to be patted down (including Avery), but it was no big deal. No one questioned Avery’s feed or medicine and we didn’t need to show them any documentation.

We settled into a quiet area just on the edge of the hustle and bustle of the main departure lounge until our flight – which was all very straightforward.

Like I said earlier, we booked the Magical Shuttle for our transfers to and from our hotel. What we didn’t know that we wish we did – CDG is a very large airport, and we had a lot of walking to do to get to the shuttle terminal. 

By this point we had already missed the shuttle by about ten minutes, so we had almost an hour to wait in the heat before the next one was due to leave. It was very hot in Paris, we were already tired and sweaty – so this wait wasn’t welcome, but it was no one’s fault. 

Zachary was given a sunflower lanyard to symbolise hidden disabilities

The Hotel 

We arrived at our hotel at around 2pm, we checked in, collected our park tickets directly from the hotel and got our room code. She also gave us vouchers for free parking at Disneyland, we did not drive but that’s something to note if you do choose to travel that way.

The room was basic, very basic, but comfortable, and everything we needed (although a mini fridge and kettle would have been appreciated, but budget hunters can’t always be choosers!). The room had a double bed, a bunk bed, a twin bed and a travel cot already set up for Avery. There was a small bathroom off to the side with a bath and shower head. The power outlets were limited in my opinion for the amount of people in our family, but then again, we did have extra medical equipment and a kettle – so that could just be me being picky!

If you’re there to enjoy the parks and not the hotel, I would definitely say it’s a nice budget friendly option. The rooms were clean, a continental breakfast was included, and they had an arcade and a room with vending machines and a microwave. They also had a snack bar with pretty nice food, but this doesn’t open until the evening. 

Avery met Olaf!

Disneyland Paris

We took the free shuttle to the parks; the timings were a bit hit and miss during the afternoon but in the morning, they seemed to run every ten minutes or so. We were grateful to find they had spaces to park strollers, so we didn’t need to fold it down.

We finally made it to Disneyland at 3pm, and of course, we were all completely awe struck by the theming, the music and the smells (yes the smells!). 

Something to note – there is security at Disneyland, and every bag needs to go through their machine, we had a lot of bags clipped onto Avery’s stroller, so this was a bit of a faff. 

We went to the main park first and headed straight to City Hall for Zachary and Avery’s Access Cards. There was a bit of a que, it probably took about 20 minutes to get through it, but once we were in the staff were friendly and the process was straightforward. I showed our reference numbers and documents; in our case it was the kids’ DLA letters. Zachary was awarded with a green card and Avery with a purple card, which meant we could class her pushchair as a wheelchair and take it through the lines with us. 

I won’t drone on about how amazing Disneyland is and all of the things we did, I have a vlog coming on my Youtube channel that you can check out if you’re interested in what we got up to – but I do just want to mention a few key things that we experienced as I think it would be useful.

1. Not every ride is suitable for littles even if it doesn’t have a height restriction, especially if they don’t have much head control. We took Avery on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride without realising there are a few steeper drops, luckily Avery seemed more than happy – my husband and I just needed to clutch on to her so her head wouldn’t get knocked around. 

2. The crowds are insane! Especially if you are going at a peak season, the days we were there the parks were at full capacity. There are lots of people walking in different ways at different paces, and no one really looks where they’re going, so be prepared for that. 

3. Paris’ summer is very hot – this is subjective, I’m from the UK so were not used to very hot weather, pack your sun cream, pack a portable fan, pack flannels to cool off – especially for babies. And stay hydrated!

This portable fan was a life saver for us, it kept Avery’s stroller much cooler

4. Take full advantage of your Access Cards, they’re not just for the ride lines, you also get access to a special area for the illuminations (right in front of the castle) and the parades and there’s a separate line for security and entry into the parks. Use it all – it makes the world of difference, trust me!

5. Don’t be afraid to ask – if you’re unsure of something, the cast members always seemed happy enough to answer our questions and guide us in the right way. 

Our view of the castle from the priority access area

Going Home 

We were sad to say goodbye, we wished we could have gone for longer, especially after the experience. We tried to cram so much in just one full day and two half days that we ended up burning ourselves out very quickly. 

If you are able to, I’d recommend at least three or four nights, to allow yourself the time to take a break and reset. If we ever get the opportunity to go again, we will 100% do this. 

The special assistance at CDG was equally as impressive as Gatwick, if not more. We were basically escorted all the way up to the gate. I was so impressed with the way both airports catered to disabilities. 

I hope some of this helps you prepare if you are planning a trip to Disneyland, or any trip for that matter a lot of the thing we did we would apply to other trips we may take in the future. 

Ultimately, as exhausted as we were, I’m so grateful we got to experience Disneyland Paris as an entire family. I found Disney to be incredibly inclusive, and each member of our family got to have a magical time. 

Watch our DIsneyland Experience

Useful Links

Apply for a UK Global Health Insurance Card – https://www.gov.uk/global-health-insurance-card

Disneyland Paris’ accessibility services –  https://www.disneylandparis.com/en-gb/guest-services/accessibility-at-disneylandparis/

Categories
Special Needs Family Life

My Daughter’s Brain Injury

If you’re familiar with my website, my Youtube channel, or my brand in general, then you probably already know that my daughter, Avery has complex medical needs. 

Avery’s story is both a sad and a happy one. The strength and resilience of this tiny human still blows my mind. She is both unlucky and lucky, a tragedy and a miracle – and over the last year I’ve really been trying to keep my thoughts positive and focus on the latter of those statements. 

I’m going to add a TRIGGER WARNING here, because although I am focusing on just how incredible my daughter is, her story may be upsetting to some. So read on at your own discretion – if you are easily triggered by trauma, particularly involving an infant, perhaps one of my other blogs would be a better read. 

You’ve probably heard about babies born with oxygen deprivation, whether that be an already present condition, a labour complication or a premature birth – but this didn’t happen to Avery.

So how did Avery end up with a brain injury? You may ask.

Just minutes old

Avery was born healthy, after a very straightforward 6-hour labour and two pushes, she was in the world, beautifully pink, crying, with not one concern.

We spent three exhausting, incredible days as a completed little family in perfect, oblivious, bliss. 

I’m going to skip a little here, purely because my heart and mind are just not ready to relive how it all happened yet – but long story short, Avery survived a 40+ minute cardiac arrest.

That’s incredible right? I still can’t comprehend it, 40 minutes?! How is that even possible? Well it is, my amazing, strong three-day old baby girl did it.

What amount of damage can 40 minutes do?

It didn’t take a Doctor to tell me that Avery would have suffered some severe oxygen deprivation. After all, 40 minutes is a very long time – did I mention that my daughter is incredible?

A few days after Avery’s event, she had an MRI, which revealed that Avery had a severe brain injury. Her damage was mostly in the areas of her Cerebellum and Hippocampus. Was I shocked? No. Did that mean the news didn’t completely devastate me? Absolutely not. Was I still incredibly grateful that she was here and fighting? Heck, yes!

The day Avery graduated from PICU, also the day the bow became her trademark

How did this damage present in Avery?

We are still very early on in our journey, Avery is only now about to turn 17 months old, so we still have a lot to learn about Avery’s brain injury and how it will affect her in the future. 

The Cerebellum is responsible for motor skills, coordination, balance, posture… so in my non expertise, it pretty much sounds like that’s the majority of physical development, right?

When thinking of the hippocampus, my brain went back to what I had learnt from my Mum – she has a lot of knowledge about Alzheimer’s and Dementia from her job, so I immediately assumed Avery’s memory would be affected. 

Physically, it doesn’t take close observation to see that Avery’s diagnoses line up with her development – it’s slow, inchstones, not milestones.

I’ll be honest, I have absolutely no idea if Avery’s memory is affected. I’d like to think it isn’t. She remembers people, TV programmes, routines – I can tell that by the beaming smile she graces our presence with when she’s anticipating her favourite things. 

The Secondary Diagnoses

Avery’s primary diagnosis is Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy (more commonly known as HIE) – for us non Doctor’s, it basically means a brain disorder caused by a lack of oxygen and blood flow. 

Most of her other conditions are all secondary to her HIE. She has Cerebral Palsy, what type I am still unsure of, I can only assume her neurologist wants to give her more time before we can be certain – what we do know is that she has spasticity (I hate that word but it is the correct medical term) in her arms. That means that her muscle tone is too high, causing her arms to be very stiff and tight. Her trunk and neck however, are the opposite. 

She was also diagnosed with Dystonia when she was six months old. Dystonia is a medical term for a range of movement disorders. Avery’s Dystonia causes her to have uncontrollable spasms.

She also has severe reflux, now this one we can’t be 100% certain that it was a direct result of her brain injury – she could have had it anyway. 

Avery is also g tube fed – this isn’t a condition as such – but is still a direct result of her brain injury. Motor function and coordination are all needed to eat and drink as well. I had no idea that so much went into it – which kept me incredibly deflated all the times I tried to get Avery back on the breast – turns out it’s a lot of hard work! 

Needless to say,

Avery is my daughter, not her disabilities.

It took me a really long time to really comprehend this point, guilt is a really tough pill to swallow. Avery has really helped guide me along the way – as she gets older, her character shows through, and man, doesn’t she have character!

Yes, she is disabled, there are things that she may never be able to do. 

Will she walk? We don’t know. 

Will she talk? We don’t know.

Will she ever be able to eat? Again, we don’t know.

The unknown is the single most hardest thing about this situation, but I found that when I stopped wondering what she will and won’t accomplish, and started solely enjoying her for who she is now, everything just felt so much more promising, and I found acceptance.

Avery will decide what she will do when she is ready, in the meantime, it’s my job as her Mummy to just love her and enjoy her for all of the incredible things about her right now.

Avery is an incredible, strong, happy little girl

And what can she do?

She can smile, she has the most beautiful smile that radiates joy to those around her. 

She can play, with a little help from us she’s found things that she finds enjoyment in. 

She can progress and develop, and she is (inchstones, remember!) Everyday, little by little, she is building strength and balance and coordination.

She can give and receive love – I don’t need her to be able to talk to know this without a doubt. 

She can experience the world around her, there’s absolutely no reason why she should ever miss out. We’re in a day and age now where disabilities are recognised, accepted and catered for. 

I could go on about all of the wonderful things about Avery and her special life, but I’m sure you get the point.

Avery’s brain injury does not define who she is, those sweet, amazing little things we discover about her each day are the things that matter. 

She is my superhero, the strongest, bravest little girl I will ever know.