Categories
Special Needs Family Life

Why It’s Scary When My Disabled Baby Gets Sick

We all get sick from time to time, especially at this time of year. Children seem to be breeders of these pesky little viruses. Usually, we can shake off a common cold with little to no downtime. But what happens when a compromised child gets sick?

My daughter, Avery is 19 months old. She has Cerebral Palsy caused by a severe hypoxic event when she was just three days old. 

Avery’s body and mind has to work so much harder than a neurotypical child’s to do even the simplest of things that most (including me) take for granted. She is also g tube fed – and an open stoma can be a sitting duck for infections, even if you’re very clean. 

Avery has had her fair share of illnesses, as a matter of fact, I would say she is poorly more than she is well. It takes her longer than average to brew an illness – which leaves us wondering why she is so grumpy for days, and it takes her longer than average to shake off an illness once it has reared its ugly head. 

In the last 9 months alone, she has had two UTI’s, many stoma infections and countless colds and upper respiratory tract infections, as well as the big bad ‘C’ that we have all come to know. So I have come to learn hhow Avery’s body reacts to being under the weather. 

It usually happens in stages.

Stage One – The Unknown: days of picking apart what has changed to make Avery so grumpy. Her reflux is horrific and her dystonic patterns are out of control. 

Dystonia is a condition that Avery has as a result of her brain injury. It is a movement disorder that causes involuntary and often painful movements and spasms, made worse by pain, fatigue and of course – illness. The reflux and the Dystonia tend to feed off of each other, so it really is a catch 22.

Stage Two – The Vomiting: Vomiting is a key giveaway for Avery. Although she has reflux, it is usually silent. But when she’s poorly she barely keeps anything down. 

Stage Three – The Symptoms: The moment of realisation as to why we’ve needed to work ten times harder to keep Avery happy and settled. Depending on the illness, the symptoms usually consist of fevers and snot. 

Stage Four – The Aftermath: As if being poorly isn’t bad enough, the illness itself is the mild part. Usually, after a few days of battling whatever illness has graced us with its presence, Avery will start to cough and splutter. Recently this has become an indication that she has aspirated some of the vomit and secretions that she has been struggling with. 

Aspirating is when a substance (whether that’s food, mucus or vomit) goes to the lungs. Have you ever felt like a drink went down the wrong way and it’s left you choking for a couple of seconds? That’s aspiration – most cope with it fine and it doesn’t cause any serious effects. Avery, however does not cope well. Her lungs are so very little and because of her brain injury she doesn’t have the strongest swallow to coordination. Which can land her with a bout of Aspiraiton Pneumonia.

As I type, Avery is recovering from her most recent illness. 

We went through our usual stages, days of poor sleep, no routine, uncontrollable dystonic patterns and reflux – followed by a lot of vomiting. 

One morning she woke up incredibly bunged up and snotty – I had hoped we had gotten away with a simple cold this time, boy was I mistaken! 

That night, after giving her a nebuliser to help clear some of her secretions, we put her down to bed. 

I was woken by her SATs monitor alarming. Avery’s heart rate had shot up to nearly 200 bpm, which is very high for her, even when she is worked up. 

Upon inspecting her I noticed she was making some strange sounds and movements, but I had seen them before – She was having a Febrile Convulsion. 

A Febrile Convulsion is a seizure caused by a high temperature. It can happen in any child, and Avery had had one in the past. She had indeed spiked a fever in the night. Luckily she came out of the seizure with no help, and after some paracetamol she settled back to sleep. I wish I could say the same for myself!

The next few days were the same in terms of symptoms – fevers, vomiting and secretions. Not pleasant but all things we were used to and comfortable managing at home. 

On the fifth day of Avery’s illness her Community Nurse had come to run a test on Avery’s secretions, this involved sucking some of her mucus from her nose, and sending it off to be tested for viral and bacterial infections. We wouldn’t get the results for a few more days. 

Avery was unusually lethargic this morning, I put her down for an early nap and she slept for three hours! This is not normal for Avery. Most days we’re grateful if she gets a 30 minute sleep in. 

I checked on her while she slept. Her breathing didn’t seem right, and she had spiked another fever. When she woke I fed her and gave her some paracetamol and ibuprofen to try and bring her temperature down. She proceeded to throw it all up!

After that I phoned Pediatric Observations, which is our local hospital’s children’s ward admission unit. Luckily Avery has open access to the unit because of her g tube, and I’ve been incredibly grateful for this on many occasions.

Paed Obs said to bring her in to get checked over, so my husband rushed home from work, my Mum took our boys and off we went to hospital.

After being sat in the triage room with nothing but an examination bed to rest Avery down on for 8 hours, we were sent home with some answers. Avery had been given a chest x-ray which showed that she had a mild case of Aspiration Pneumonia – her second case in just three months. She was given a course of antibiotics and off we went. 

Over the weekend, we tried our best to keep Avery comfortable. She still wasn’t coping brilliantly but we knew it would take a few days for the antibiotics to kick in. So we settled into a routine of giving her nebulisers, suctioning, and cleaning her up after she vomited. 

On the Monday, we finally had Avery’s results from the test the Community Nurse had done the previous Friday. Avery has tested positive for RSV, which stands for respiratory syncytial virus – a respiratory viru that usually causes cold like symptoms. I can confirm that the rest of our household did experience said symptoms. For Avery, however it wasn’t that simple. 

Like clockwork, the same night we received her test results, we put her to bed, connected her to her SATs monitor, like always, and got ready to settle down to sleep.

Then her monitor started to alarm. Avery’s oxygen had started to drop to 91%. Blood oxygen levels in children should be above 92% to be considered ‘safe’.

So I made another call to Paed Obs, who advised us to bring Avery back to the hospital.

On arrival, the nurses hooked Avery up to their SATs monitor, and sure enough her oxygen had settled itself at 90%. So the Doctor on call decided it would be safer for Avery to be admitted in case she needed extra oxygen. 

My husband left to get back to our boys, and I mad myself comfortable on the fold out bed next to Avery’s hospital crib. By this point her oxygen had dropped even further to 89%, so the nurse hooked her up to the oxygen, and she slept with a mask on for the rest of the night. 

The next day was a wait and see game. Neither us or the Doctors were comfortable seeing Avery home wihile her oxygen level were dropping below 90%, unfortunately they continued to do this for the next two days. 

Avery needed an oxygen mask to keep her oxygen levels safe

By the Wednesday night, Avery had had enough sleep where her oxygen had stayed at safe levels for her to be discharged, 

We were sent home with a prophylactic antibiotic for Avery to be given 3 times a week over the winter, this should help keep some infections away. In all honestly after pleading and venting to doctors for the previous few months, I was a little irritated that we didn’t know about this option sooner!

Avery is doing better now – and I’m really hoping these new antibiotics work.

Considering Avery is vulnerable and compromised when it comes to illness, I know we were actually very lucky that she only needed a little oxygen. It could have been so much worse. 

This is just another hurdle in our journey, and another cruel characteristic of her brain injury. 

Categories
Special Needs Family Life

Amazon Must Have’s

(Some links in this blog post are affiliate links, so I may make a small commission should you purchase through the links. There is no additional charge to you. Thank you for your continued support) 

Amazon. The shopping marketplace that we all know and love. 

I’ve had my fair share of duds from Amazon, especially since I fancy myself a bit of a budget Queen and tend to scrimp a little perhaps when I shouldn’t. 

But I’ve also found some absolute staples on Amazon, these are the products I’ll be sharing in this blog.

In my mind, a ‘favourite’ isn’t just an item I like, it’s something I either use or have used and enjoyed over and over again. 

I can’t say these items are must haves for everyone, as everyone’s circumstances and product needs are different, but if you happen to have been looking for the things I mention  I 100% recommend each of them. 

So – let’s get into it!

Want more Amazon favourites? Check out my video.

A Special Needs Mom’s Amazon Favourites

First off, we’re going to start in the kitchen, the heart of the home – and a place that can become incredibly cluttered without effort. One of my kitchen cupboards was overflowing with various sized pots, pans and oven trays that I had collected over the years. Most of them had lost their non-stick element, and I probable only ever used two or three. 

Then I found my love for cast iron and cast aluminum. 

I now keep three cooking vessels in my kitchen, and I use them for pretty much everything. 

Cast Iron Skillet

Let’s start with a cast iron skillet – this has become a staple in my kitchen. This heavy-duty pan can withstand a decent amount of heat so it’s perfect for hob to oven cooking, and if looked after a cast iron skillet will last you generations. 

They do take a bit of upkeep – regular seasoning to keep food from sticking and to keep it from rusting, but as soon as you’ve mastered how to care for and cook with your skillet – it can replace a ton of your other pans. 

They’re also inexpensive, which is a bonus! My favorite things I use my skillet for are pancakes and Dutch babies – but the possibilities are endless. Because it is made out of cast iron it is extremely versatile – you can use it in a pizza oven, on a BBQ, on your hob and in the oven.

I have linked the one I purchased over a year ago and I still love cooking with it.

Cast Aluminium Casserole Pot

The only two other pots I keep in my kitchen are my cast aluminium casserole pots. Don’t let the name fool you, these pots can be used for tons of different things. I use mine to roast, fry, bake, boil and steam – they have pretty much replaced all other pots, pans and oven trays. 

Because these pots are made from aluminium, there’s no need for seasoning. They’re incredibly easy to clean and easy to use. 

Unfortunately, the exact ones I purchased are no longer available, but i have linked a similar pot above. 

Next, I’m going to move into baby items – My daughter, Avery is 20 months old, but she has Cerebral Palsy, so a lot of the items I purchased when she was a newborn or even before she was born I still use and love now.

Swaddle Blankets

I bought this set of two swaddle blankets before Avery was born. I didn’t expect them to still be a part of our daily routine 20 months later. 

Aside from the adorable designs, these muslin blankets are a nice big size, slightly stretchy – perfect for swaddling and they are much softer than a lot of other muslin fabric I’ve used. 

Yes, I still swaddle Avery at nap time, as it keeps her nice and secure so her dystonic movements don’t wake her as often. These blankets are also a brilliant alternative to a thicker blanket in the warm summer months.

Snuza Hero MD Breathing Monitor

This funny looking device single handedly allowed my husband and I to sleep restfully after my daughter came home from hospital post brain injury. 

Avery stopped breathing in the night when she was three days old – and we are very lucky to still have her with us. As you can imagine once the nurses and monitors were no longer around, we became quite paranoid. 

Before we were able to get our hands on a SATs monitor, we made a very last minute purchase of the Snuza Hero after a recommendation from our health visitor. 

The device clipped onto the front of Avery’s nappy, and would make a little clicking sound for every breath Avery took. If there was a stretch of time where Avery didn’t breath, the device would alarm. Granted, it wasn’t a loud alarm, but with all that had happened we were almost programmed to hear any unusual noises in the night. 

It felt like a little safety net, and was a lifesaver in those early days. 

Next I’m going to move onto what I like to call my ‘tech gadgets’ (but not really because I’m not techy in the slightest).

Laptop Stand

I have a very old 2011 MacBook Pro, I bought it second hand five years ago, it stopped receiving updates years ago, it crashes on my constantly and it always overheats. 

However, a new MacBook is not within my budget just yet, so I needed to get creative about extending it’s life a little longer. 

That’s where the laptop stand came in. It raises the laptop off of whatever surface it’s on and allows for better airflow beneath it. Since using the stand my laptop doesn’t get nearly as hot. 

That was the only reason I purchased the stand, but it’s actually working wonders for my back, as I’m hunching over a lot less. 

I’ve had my fair share of duds from Amazon, especially since I fancy myself a bit of a budget Queen and tend to scrimp a little perhaps when I shouldn’t. 

iPad Stylus

I recently bought a new iPad – another attempt to try and take some pressure off my laptop. I desperately wanted the Apple Magic Pencil to go with it, but I couldn’t justify the price tag. 

So I took to good old Amazon, and to my surprise there were plenty of comparable stylus pens. 

I absolutely love my stylus, and I get my moneys worth 100%. I use it to amp up my YouTube thumbnails now and again, I use it to create my digital product which I sell on Etsy, and I can now do digital planning on my iPad, which conveniently keeps all of my planning in one place. 

The only downside is it needs to be charged every now and again, but that’s not a deal breaker. 

That’s where I’ll leave it for now. I have many more Amazon finds that have become favorites, so maybe I’ll do a follow up blog post soon. 

Categories
Special Needs Family Life

The Importance Of Self-Care As A Parent/Carer

Parenthood to a baby or small child is a full-time job. Being a carer is also a full-time job. Both equally as important, both incredibly rewarding and both very hard work.

A parent/carer, is sadly a name that is given to a lot of parents as a result of some kind of trauma. Whether that be an event during labor and delivery, a result of medical negligence or another reason. 

My daughter Avery, was just three days old when she suffered a 40 minute cardiac arrest, resulting in a severe hypoxic brain injury and Cerebral Palsy, among other conditions. Thus, parent/carer was my new title and lifestyle. 

Life is challenging. 

See what a morning in our life looks like.

As much as I love all three of my children, and would sacrifice my last breath for them, this last year and a half have really tested my sanity. 

During my pregnancy with my third baby, and only little girl, I dreamed of sweet cuddles, the magnificent bond through breastfeeding and watching her wrap her brothers around her beautiful little finger.

I still get those sweet cuddles, in between fighting with Avery’s very persistent Dystonic spasms. Breastfeeding was a lost cause the day severe reflux reared its ugly head and well – Avery certainly still has everyone wrapped around her little finger. 

But her life isn’t what I had dreamed of for her. My life isn’t what I had dreamed of. 

Every day is a constant battle of high tone, Dystonia, tube feeding and reflux. 

Being a parent/carer takes a great deal of energy, through those many sleepless nights, whether Avery is restless through sensory overload or she happened to cough before she fell to sleep which has me staring at her SATs monitor all night. 

It takes a great deal of motivation. Persisting with numerous therapies and feeling when you’re seeing little results. 

It takes time, even just getting out of the house can take an extra hour to prepare. 

You may think that this blog post is just me complaining about life, and I can totally see that. But there is a very important reason I have chosen to start on a negative note – I want every parent/carer to remember that it’s ok not to be ok. 

It’s ok to admit that you’re struggling. It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to need a break.

For such a long time I felt like it was such a miracle that Avery was still with us, and we had been given a precious gift of a second chance, that I felt guilty every time I was irritated, angered or upset by this new life we had been given.

One of my very wise YouTube subscribers once said to me, ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup’, and especially as a parent/carer – these are words to live by. 

Self care is so incredibly important – for anyone, not just us parents and parent/carers. But when someone relies on you to help them live a fulfilled life, the best example you can give is that you need to look after yourself. 

Whenever you travel by plane, in case of emergency you are always advised to put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others – because if you run out of oxygen, how will you stay conscious to put someone else’s mask on? This, in my opinion, is not just flight safety, it’s a life lesson!

A few months ago I was offered the opportunity to visit my older cousin in Crete, with my Mum, Aunt and younger cousin. 

I had never been away from Avery before, I’d only just started feeling comfortable leaving her with my Mum for a couple of hours, so naturally, my first response was – ABSOLUTELY NOT!

But, after a very long chat with my husband, expressing my concerns and going back and forth – a lot, we decided that it would be a good thing for me to take a break.

How I felt about leaving

I went away for five days, leaving my husband behind with our children, which in itself was a nerve-wracking thought. Sure, he was perfectly capable, but I’m a stay at home Mom, it was just me and Avery while the boys were at school. 5 days a week, every week. 

I was worried she would miss me, I was worried she would wonder where I was, I was worried my husband would struggle. 

I knew my boys would be fine, at the ages of six and nine they find anything unordinary exciting.

I spent the two weeks prior getting everything in order so my absence would be as easy as possible for my husband. By the time the trip came around, I was exhausted, and in desperate need of a break. 

The week leading up to my trip

I cried when I said goodbye to my babies, and it took me a few hours of traveling to the airport, and a couple of video calls with Avery to stop sulking. 

When I finally let myself be present I was grateful for it. I missed the kids, I missed home, but for a few days, it was really nice to run off of my own time. I ate when I was hungry, not when I had the time to. I slept in silence, without the roaring of a sound machine in the next room (which was weird at first but I got used to it!). I laid on a sun lounger for the majority of the day and only got up if I wanted to, I even had a couple of naps!

All in all the break was needed more than I thought. It gave me a chance to relax, reflect and reset.

The vlog from my trip

Of course life was still waiting to take me back with open arms, everything was exactly where I left it (just a little messier). My apprehension was from a place in my mind that was conjured up by my own anxieties. 

Back to reality

Long story short, there is no shame in needing a break from your lifestyle. It doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve what you have. It doesn’t make you any less of a parent, carer or person. 

A break doesn’t have to come in the form of a trip or time away. It could be a soak in the bath, a bit of extra time to do your hair or makeup, a salon appointment, or some tie to focus on a hobby you enjoy. Just a little bit of time to reflect and reset can do the world of good, and I would highly recommend it.

Categories
Special Needs Family Life

How To Stay Organised As A Busy Mom

Being a Mom can be hectic. So an element of organisation is needed to avoid absolute chaos. I am a stay-at-home Mom of three, among everything else included in that job role (cook, made launder, teacher and so on). 

Two of my three children have additional needs, my son, Zachary has Autism. My daughter, Avery has Cerebral Palsy, Dystonia, Severe Reflux and is 100% g tube fed. I’m also working on building my brand, creating content, YouTube videos, blog posts, Instagram posts, as well as building my Etsy shop with digital products. 

Being organised isn’t just something that helps life run smoothly for me. It is the very pinnacle of my coping strategy. Without organisation, I become overrun, overwhelmed and quite frankly, at the edge of breaking point. 

There’s a few simple things I have added into my daily life and routine, to make sure I keep control of what I can. After all, organisation really is the control of what you will and wont do. 

I’m sharing these things with you all because, well, hopefully some of you may find it helpful. Whether that’s because you find some of these tips handy, or maybe you have a similarly chaotic life to me, and can just relate. Plus, organisation is my thing, so writing a blog post about it is an enjoyable way to spend my time. (Yes, I am sad).

So, without further a due, here are my tips on how to stay organised as a busy Mom. 

How To Stay Organised As A Busy Mom

Tackle the bulk of your to do list in the morning.

Have you ever noticed that if you eat breakfast first thing in the morning, it kick starts your appetite? Odd comparison, I know, but I like to think its simalar with productivity. I find that if I do something that productive first thing in the morning, it drives me to continue to be productive. You’re essentially starting the day as you mean to go on, setting off on the right note, and those are the best kind of days. 

Not only that, if I can tackle my to do list as early in th day as possible, I know the rest of my day is carefree. I can just spend time with my children and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment. 

Don’t delay the small tasks.

This is a mistake! Little tasks have a big way of building up until you have a to do list a mile long. I don’t know about you guys, but I find when a task wont take my long, it appears as less of a priority. Therefore I tend to procrastinate and the job just doesn’t get done, it gets put off and buried into that space in my mind of all the little things I must get done until that space is bursting at the seams. 

As a general rule, if a task makes its way onto your to do list, and you know it will only take ten minutes or less, get it done! Don’t put it off. You’ll feel better having that little tick on your list. 

Which brings me onto my next tip.

Me and my three beautiful children

Write lists. Lists, lists and more lists. 

My husband thinks I make things over complicated, I disagree. The more detailed I make my planning the more at ease I feel. That’s where lists come in. 

The mind can often feel liberated when everything has been pulled from it and written onto paper (or phone, tablet etc since were in a modern world).

I can often feel incredibly overwhelmed when I know I have a lot of things to do, but when I write it down, my to do list seems a whole lot less intimidating and more manageable, my mind feels instantly clearer and I feel more motivated. 

This next tip kind of goes hand in hand with the last…

Write things down!

You know how annoying it is when you know you need something, or need to do something, but you can’t quite remember what that something is? I know, I’ve been there.

Best way to combat this? Write it down, straight away. 

Whether its a scribble on paper or a quick note in an app on your phone, you’ll thank yourself for not playing the guessing game of ‘remember the thing’.

I’ve found this incredibly helpful when it comes to planning my YouTube videos. Creativity often sparks when I’m all cosy and comfy in bed. There’s been times where I’ve trusted my brain to remember til morning and my brain did me dirty. 

Now, I just grab my phone and jot a quick few words into my notes. This will do until I have time to properly add that idea into my content calendar. 

What a day in our life looks like

Use a daily or weekly planner. 

This is an absolute must for me, as a matter of fact, I have a calendar for our whole family, a paper planner as a backup, and my digital planner. 

I have a busy life, it full of hospital appointments, school functions, therapies and extra curricular activities, and that’s just my children’s stuff. 

There would be absolutely no way I would remember anything if i didn’t have my days planned out. 

I like a planner that keeps everything in one place. Things that I know I need to keep track of every week or month, this is usually things like food shopping lists, monthly finances and of course, my to do lists. 

This is exactly why i created my own. I took everything I thought would be needed in a week to week planner and made it in one simple document, which i imported into my GoodNotes app. It’s been an absolute game changer, and I have to say, I’m totally converted from paper to digital planning. 

My digital planner available on my Etsy shop

If you prefer traditional pen and paper, I recommend the planners from https://sotypicalme.co.uk/ they’re completely customisable from what you need space for in your planner right down to the front page and binder colour. 

Whether you chose physical or digital. A planner is a non negotiable. Planning your time wisely is a life skill not to be taken for granted. 

How do you plan your time wisely? You may ask.

This is where prioritising comes in. When you know what your tasks are for the day, decide which are the most important. This is most likely going to be appointments or meetings that have other people involved. 

Once you’ve worked out where your primary focus should be, organise the rest of your tasks in a similar way, highest to lowest priority. Plan to tackle your lower priority tasks at a time when you know you may be distracted.

Challenge your time. 

There’s nothing like some healthy competition. Especially when you’re competing with time. As a busy Mom I find I only get short burst of time where I can focus all of my attention on one thing (this is usually my daughter’s nap time).

Avery’s naps are not consistent, but I know she will usually sleep for at least 20 minutes. So for that 20 minutes, I set myself a challenge. Whether that’s a speed clean of the house, writing a blog post or editing a video, if I know I’m on a time crunch, I’m much less likely to be distracted. 

All that hard work deserves a reward, right?

With that being said, don’t forget to give yourself some incentive. 

If you know your going to be rewarded for the work you put in you’re much more likely to put some effort into it. 

This doesn’t have to be over complicated. If you get that load of washing put away, allow yourself to sit down and watch an episode of your favourite TV show. 

Following on from this…

Allow yourself time to rest.

This tip I am incredibly guilty of not implementing into my life. I have anxiety, so it’s in my chemical makeup to never want to sit still. But even I know that if you don’t allow your body to take a break and catch up you’re going to reach a point of burnout. 

Trust me, I know!

Everything should be in moderation. Work hard, play hard. 

My last tip is probably the most important. 

Be prepared not to be prepared. 

As much as I would love it to be, life isn’t as simple as making a list and working your way through it. 

Life is.. well, life! Sometimes it has other plans. Some circumstances aren’t always foreseen. Appreciate the fact that you can’t always have control of every situation and sometimes things need to be adjusted. The ability to adapt is one of the best skills you can learn and implement into your life. 

I hope you enjoyed these tips and maybe even found them helpful. For my life, being organised has helped provide me with clarity, and a sense of control over my own life.

Categories
Special Needs Family Life

How I Knew My Child Had Autism

My son, Zachary was diagnosed with Autism when he was four years old. 

In his first few years, there were definitely signs, but it wasn’t until he started preschool that it really became a question – Is my child ‘different’?

In this video I talk all about those little signs and gut feelings I had when Zachary was a baby. I was a young Mum, only nineteen when he was born, I’d never had any experience with child development (other than the brief year I studied in high school), I thought he was just a bit behind, but nothing I should be concerned about.

In this video I talk about those little signs and gut feelings I had when Zachary was a baby. As well as the journey to his diagnosis, his other medical conditions and how he’s doing now.

Categories
Special Needs Family Life

Disneyland With Disabled Children

Some of the links in this blog may be affiliate links. Please rest assured I will only link to products I would actually recommend to you.

We recently returned from a short trip to one of the most magical place on Earth – Disneyland Paris. 

We travelled as a whole family of six – myself, my husband and our four children, three of them you will be familiar with, Zachary who is 9, Eli who is six and Avery who is 17 months, my step son Marley, who is 10 also accompanied us so we could experience the magic as an entire family.

If you’re not new to my blogs, Instagram or Youtube channel then you will know that two of my children have additional needs, Zachary has Autism and Avery has a range of complex medical needs, including Cerebral Palsy, Dystona and she is 100% g tube fed. 

Anyone of you that has travelled with children will know that it is no small feat, you almost need a holiday to recover from the holiday, but… when some of those children have additional and complex medical needs, the process can be a whole lot more challenging. 

I did a lot in the lead up to our trip to make sure we were covered for every eventuality – after all it’s not uncommon for Avery to need an impromptu hospital visit every now and then. So I wanted to make sure we were fully prepared for all scenarios. 

The Logistics

Our trip was booked on a ‘budget’ – I use this term loosely because, well Disney is far from cheap! But we opted for a lot of the less expensive options. 

We chose to travel from Gatwick Airport as they had the cheapest flights to Charles De Gaulle (CDG) Airport, which meant we already had a long stretch of travel before we even made it to the plane, the drive from home was around five hours! We flew with Easy Jet – again because they offered the cheapest flights.

We stayed at B&B Hotel which is a Disney partner hotel, this seemed like the smartest option as they offered a free shuttle to and from the Disneyland Parks. We would have loved to stay on site – but that just wasn’t in our budget. We booked directly through the Disneyland Paris website, it was a hotel and ticket package. We found that outsourcing our travel was the much cheaper option.

For transfers to and from our hotel we went with the Magical Shuttle, at the time it seemed like the most affordable and convenient way to travel as a family of six – but I’ll get to more about that in a minute. 

The Preparations

I did a ton of research when we booked our trip, what to take, what to do, what to prepare for our special needs children, if you’re thinking of travelling to Disneyland and you or your children have additional needs, hopefully the next few paragraphs will save you some time.

Airport Assistance

The first thing I did was arrange special assistance with the airline we were flying with, which was Easy Jet. This was a pretty simple process, you just have to select the option in your account, the rest is done at the Airport itself.

Insurance 

Next was travel insurance, this was a big one (obviously), everyone needs travel insurance, but we found that your standard, commercial companies wouldn’t insure Zach or Avery. The two companies we did find with decent policies and were specialised in the medical side were goodtogoinsurance.com and staysure.co.uk.

For this trip we went with goodtogo.

Now I wont lie, the insurance ate a fair chunk of our budget, but you can never be too careful, right?

To go alongside our insurance, I also ordered a UK Global Health Insurance Card for each member of our family. This card lets you get state healthcare in Europe at a reduced cost or sometimes even free. Needless to say, we needed neither the insurance or the card, but I felt much more at ease knowing we were covered.

Medical Documents

One of my biggest fears was that we would get turned away from either security or customs at the airport – Avery had a lot of specialised feed and medicines, one of which contained a controlled substance. I wanted to take proof on top of proof that it would be a catastrophe if that happened (and it would be!).

I made sure I had printed up to date prescriptions for every one of Avery’s medicines. Alongside that I also had her Paediatrician write a letter confirming Avery did indeed need her medicines, feed and equipment. Did we end up needing this? No. Am I still glad we took the? For my sanity, absolutely.

Storing The Feed

Avery’s particular feed needs to be refrigerated between uses, and since we were facing 29 degree days I knew a cooler bag just wasn’t going to cut it. We ended up taking twelve bottles of Avery’s Compleat Paediatric – one for every feed while we were away from home. This was an absolute, last case scenario – I didn’t love the idea of wastage, one bottle would usually cover three feeds. But… in the worst case then at least Avery had enough of her feed.

I contacted Disneyland Paris directly, and they kindly responded fairly quickly, letting me know they had a first aid centre in each park, where I could store Avery’s medicine. Now the feed, I will say was a grey area, they don’t normally allow you to store food or baby milk there, but if I had proof that Avery’s feed was a specialised G tube feed then it would be a problem. So I added another piece of paper to our folder – a letter from Avery’s dietician confirming that was the case. 

Our hotel also agreed to storing her feed in their fridges while we were there – although I don’t think this would have been the case had it not been a g tube feed. 

Priority Access Cards 

This is Disneyland Paris’ Disability scheme as it were – they have two types of access cards, Easy Access Cards and Priority Access cards, in our case the priority cards were what we applied for as we would benefit the most from them.

Now Disneyland Paris is strict compared to Disneyworld’s DAS system (or so I’ve heard). At Disneyland Paris you actually need to prove you, or your child has the difficulties you’re claiming. This needs to be some form of documentation, there’s a list of acceptable forms of proof on their website. 

I was able to pre-register for Zachary and Avery’s access cards thirty days before our trip on the Disneyland website (I will leave a link below). I just needed to answer a few questions, fill out a few details and provide a picture of each of them. I was then presented with a code which I needed to take to City Hall on our first park day, along with our documents.    

I believe if you are staying on site you can also collect your access cards directly from your hotel. 

Side note – B&B Hotel do not have kettles in the rooms. This is a non-negotiable for us as we still use sterile water for Avery’s flushes. So we purchased a very inexpensive travel kettle from eBay.  

That was all the research and planning sorted, the next hurdle was packing. That’s a whole other story so I won’t go into that. But if you are interested in seeing that process I have a pack with me video on my Youtube channel. 

So let’s get into our actual experience…

Travel Day 

Travelling to the airport was a dream (apart from the lack of sleep, and by lack of I mean none). We left home at 11:30pm and made the five-hour drive to the airport. Avery slept the entire way and the boys seemed comfortable despite the fact that our seven seat Nissan was full to the brim. 

We arrived at the airport at around 5am and headed straight for the special assistance desk. They presented Zachary with a sunflower lanyard and helped us drop off our one suitcase (this in itself made special assistance worth it as we skipped the very long que). 

We then proceeded through a separate security which was much quieter, and we felt a lot less pressure when it took us forever to offload all of our liquids and medicines into their plastic boxes. 

A couple of us needed to be patted down (including Avery), but it was no big deal. No one questioned Avery’s feed or medicine and we didn’t need to show them any documentation.

We settled into a quiet area just on the edge of the hustle and bustle of the main departure lounge until our flight – which was all very straightforward.

Like I said earlier, we booked the Magical Shuttle for our transfers to and from our hotel. What we didn’t know that we wish we did – CDG is a very large airport, and we had a lot of walking to do to get to the shuttle terminal. 

By this point we had already missed the shuttle by about ten minutes, so we had almost an hour to wait in the heat before the next one was due to leave. It was very hot in Paris, we were already tired and sweaty – so this wait wasn’t welcome, but it was no one’s fault. 

Zachary was given a sunflower lanyard to symbolise hidden disabilities

The Hotel 

We arrived at our hotel at around 2pm, we checked in, collected our park tickets directly from the hotel and got our room code. She also gave us vouchers for free parking at Disneyland, we did not drive but that’s something to note if you do choose to travel that way.

The room was basic, very basic, but comfortable, and everything we needed (although a mini fridge and kettle would have been appreciated, but budget hunters can’t always be choosers!). The room had a double bed, a bunk bed, a twin bed and a travel cot already set up for Avery. There was a small bathroom off to the side with a bath and shower head. The power outlets were limited in my opinion for the amount of people in our family, but then again, we did have extra medical equipment and a kettle – so that could just be me being picky!

If you’re there to enjoy the parks and not the hotel, I would definitely say it’s a nice budget friendly option. The rooms were clean, a continental breakfast was included, and they had an arcade and a room with vending machines and a microwave. They also had a snack bar with pretty nice food, but this doesn’t open until the evening. 

Avery met Olaf!

Disneyland Paris

We took the free shuttle to the parks; the timings were a bit hit and miss during the afternoon but in the morning, they seemed to run every ten minutes or so. We were grateful to find they had spaces to park strollers, so we didn’t need to fold it down.

We finally made it to Disneyland at 3pm, and of course, we were all completely awe struck by the theming, the music and the smells (yes the smells!). 

Something to note – there is security at Disneyland, and every bag needs to go through their machine, we had a lot of bags clipped onto Avery’s stroller, so this was a bit of a faff. 

We went to the main park first and headed straight to City Hall for Zachary and Avery’s Access Cards. There was a bit of a que, it probably took about 20 minutes to get through it, but once we were in the staff were friendly and the process was straightforward. I showed our reference numbers and documents; in our case it was the kids’ DLA letters. Zachary was awarded with a green card and Avery with a purple card, which meant we could class her pushchair as a wheelchair and take it through the lines with us. 

I won’t drone on about how amazing Disneyland is and all of the things we did, I have a vlog coming on my Youtube channel that you can check out if you’re interested in what we got up to – but I do just want to mention a few key things that we experienced as I think it would be useful.

1. Not every ride is suitable for littles even if it doesn’t have a height restriction, especially if they don’t have much head control. We took Avery on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride without realising there are a few steeper drops, luckily Avery seemed more than happy – my husband and I just needed to clutch on to her so her head wouldn’t get knocked around. 

2. The crowds are insane! Especially if you are going at a peak season, the days we were there the parks were at full capacity. There are lots of people walking in different ways at different paces, and no one really looks where they’re going, so be prepared for that. 

3. Paris’ summer is very hot – this is subjective, I’m from the UK so were not used to very hot weather, pack your sun cream, pack a portable fan, pack flannels to cool off – especially for babies. And stay hydrated!

This portable fan was a life saver for us, it kept Avery’s stroller much cooler

4. Take full advantage of your Access Cards, they’re not just for the ride lines, you also get access to a special area for the illuminations (right in front of the castle) and the parades and there’s a separate line for security and entry into the parks. Use it all – it makes the world of difference, trust me!

5. Don’t be afraid to ask – if you’re unsure of something, the cast members always seemed happy enough to answer our questions and guide us in the right way. 

Our view of the castle from the priority access area

Going Home 

We were sad to say goodbye, we wished we could have gone for longer, especially after the experience. We tried to cram so much in just one full day and two half days that we ended up burning ourselves out very quickly. 

If you are able to, I’d recommend at least three or four nights, to allow yourself the time to take a break and reset. If we ever get the opportunity to go again, we will 100% do this. 

The special assistance at CDG was equally as impressive as Gatwick, if not more. We were basically escorted all the way up to the gate. I was so impressed with the way both airports catered to disabilities. 

I hope some of this helps you prepare if you are planning a trip to Disneyland, or any trip for that matter a lot of the thing we did we would apply to other trips we may take in the future. 

Ultimately, as exhausted as we were, I’m so grateful we got to experience Disneyland Paris as an entire family. I found Disney to be incredibly inclusive, and each member of our family got to have a magical time. 

Watch our DIsneyland Experience

Useful Links

Apply for a UK Global Health Insurance Card – https://www.gov.uk/global-health-insurance-card

Disneyland Paris’ accessibility services –  https://www.disneylandparis.com/en-gb/guest-services/accessibility-at-disneylandparis/

Categories
Special Needs Family Life

My Daughter’s Brain Injury

If you’re familiar with my website, my Youtube channel, or my brand in general, then you probably already know that my daughter, Avery has complex medical needs. 

Avery’s story is both a sad and a happy one. The strength and resilience of this tiny human still blows my mind. She is both unlucky and lucky, a tragedy and a miracle – and over the last year I’ve really been trying to keep my thoughts positive and focus on the latter of those statements. 

I’m going to add a TRIGGER WARNING here, because although I am focusing on just how incredible my daughter is, her story may be upsetting to some. So read on at your own discretion – if you are easily triggered by trauma, particularly involving an infant, perhaps one of my other blogs would be a better read. 

You’ve probably heard about babies born with oxygen deprivation, whether that be an already present condition, a labour complication or a premature birth – but this didn’t happen to Avery.

So how did Avery end up with a brain injury? You may ask.

Just minutes old

Avery was born healthy, after a very straightforward 6-hour labour and two pushes, she was in the world, beautifully pink, crying, with not one concern.

We spent three exhausting, incredible days as a completed little family in perfect, oblivious, bliss. 

I’m going to skip a little here, purely because my heart and mind are just not ready to relive how it all happened yet – but long story short, Avery survived a 40+ minute cardiac arrest.

That’s incredible right? I still can’t comprehend it, 40 minutes?! How is that even possible? Well it is, my amazing, strong three-day old baby girl did it.

What amount of damage can 40 minutes do?

It didn’t take a Doctor to tell me that Avery would have suffered some severe oxygen deprivation. After all, 40 minutes is a very long time – did I mention that my daughter is incredible?

A few days after Avery’s event, she had an MRI, which revealed that Avery had a severe brain injury. Her damage was mostly in the areas of her Cerebellum and Hippocampus. Was I shocked? No. Did that mean the news didn’t completely devastate me? Absolutely not. Was I still incredibly grateful that she was here and fighting? Heck, yes!

The day Avery graduated from PICU, also the day the bow became her trademark

How did this damage present in Avery?

We are still very early on in our journey, Avery is only now about to turn 17 months old, so we still have a lot to learn about Avery’s brain injury and how it will affect her in the future. 

The Cerebellum is responsible for motor skills, coordination, balance, posture… so in my non expertise, it pretty much sounds like that’s the majority of physical development, right?

When thinking of the hippocampus, my brain went back to what I had learnt from my Mum – she has a lot of knowledge about Alzheimer’s and Dementia from her job, so I immediately assumed Avery’s memory would be affected. 

Physically, it doesn’t take close observation to see that Avery’s diagnoses line up with her development – it’s slow, inchstones, not milestones.

I’ll be honest, I have absolutely no idea if Avery’s memory is affected. I’d like to think it isn’t. She remembers people, TV programmes, routines – I can tell that by the beaming smile she graces our presence with when she’s anticipating her favourite things. 

The Secondary Diagnoses

Avery’s primary diagnosis is Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy (more commonly known as HIE) – for us non Doctor’s, it basically means a brain disorder caused by a lack of oxygen and blood flow. 

Most of her other conditions are all secondary to her HIE. She has Cerebral Palsy, what type I am still unsure of, I can only assume her neurologist wants to give her more time before we can be certain – what we do know is that she has spasticity (I hate that word but it is the correct medical term) in her arms. That means that her muscle tone is too high, causing her arms to be very stiff and tight. Her trunk and neck however, are the opposite. 

She was also diagnosed with Dystonia when she was six months old. Dystonia is a medical term for a range of movement disorders. Avery’s Dystonia causes her to have uncontrollable spasms.

She also has severe reflux, now this one we can’t be 100% certain that it was a direct result of her brain injury – she could have had it anyway. 

Avery is also g tube fed – this isn’t a condition as such – but is still a direct result of her brain injury. Motor function and coordination are all needed to eat and drink as well. I had no idea that so much went into it – which kept me incredibly deflated all the times I tried to get Avery back on the breast – turns out it’s a lot of hard work! 

Needless to say,

Avery is my daughter, not her disabilities.

It took me a really long time to really comprehend this point, guilt is a really tough pill to swallow. Avery has really helped guide me along the way – as she gets older, her character shows through, and man, doesn’t she have character!

Yes, she is disabled, there are things that she may never be able to do. 

Will she walk? We don’t know. 

Will she talk? We don’t know.

Will she ever be able to eat? Again, we don’t know.

The unknown is the single most hardest thing about this situation, but I found that when I stopped wondering what she will and won’t accomplish, and started solely enjoying her for who she is now, everything just felt so much more promising, and I found acceptance.

Avery will decide what she will do when she is ready, in the meantime, it’s my job as her Mummy to just love her and enjoy her for all of the incredible things about her right now.

Avery is an incredible, strong, happy little girl

And what can she do?

She can smile, she has the most beautiful smile that radiates joy to those around her. 

She can play, with a little help from us she’s found things that she finds enjoyment in. 

She can progress and develop, and she is (inchstones, remember!) Everyday, little by little, she is building strength and balance and coordination.

She can give and receive love – I don’t need her to be able to talk to know this without a doubt. 

She can experience the world around her, there’s absolutely no reason why she should ever miss out. We’re in a day and age now where disabilities are recognised, accepted and catered for. 

I could go on about all of the wonderful things about Avery and her special life, but I’m sure you get the point.

Avery’s brain injury does not define who she is, those sweet, amazing little things we discover about her each day are the things that matter. 

She is my superhero, the strongest, bravest little girl I will ever know.