Overcoming Fourth Trimester Hurdles

The fourth trimester, or the first few months following childbirth, presents a set of challenges that are often underestimated yet critical to the well-being of new mothers. This period is characterized by significant physical, emotional, and psychological adjustments that can impact a woman’s health and happiness. Recognizing and addressing these issues is vital for fostering maternal recovery and well-being. In this article from Mummy & Avery, we’ll explore various commonly overlooked issues women face during the fourth trimester and offer guidance on how to navigate these challenges effectively.

Organizing Medical Files

Effective postpartum care hinges on the meticulous organization of medical files and documents. By saving these crucial records as PDFs, sharing and collaborating with healthcare providers become significantly more efficient, ensuring rapid access to essential health information. With online tools at your disposal, you can delete specific PDF pages, removing extraneous information to maintain a streamlined and accessible document system. This method not only simplifies the management of medical records but also enhances the overall postpartum care experience by keeping important data organized and readily available.

Coping with Hormonal Changes

The postpartum period brings about dramatic hormonal fluctuations, affecting mood and energy levels significantly. These changes can lead to unexpected mood swings and a feeling of fatigue that many new mothers find overwhelming. It’s crucial to prioritize self-care during this time, including rest, nutrition, and gentle exercise, to help stabilize mood and improve energy. Understanding that these hormonal shifts are normal can also provide a sense of reassurance during this period of adjustment.

Addressing Postpartum Mood Disorders

Postpartum mood disorders, such as depression and anxiety, are more common than many realize, affecting a significant number of new mothers. If you’re experiencing persistent sadness, anxiety, or hopelessness, it’s important to seek professional assistance. There are numerous resources and support networks available to help you navigate these challenges. Early intervention and support can make a substantial difference in recovery and well-being.

Addressing Mastitis

Mastitis, a painful infection of the breast tissue, is a condition that many breastfeeding women may encounter. This infection requires prompt medical treatment to prevent complications. To prevent and alleviate symptoms of mastitis, strategies such as proper breastfeeding techniques and frequent milk expression can be beneficial. Consulting with a lactation specialist or healthcare provider can offer additional guidance and support.

Managing Haemorrhoids

Hemorrhoids, often exacerbated by childbirth, can cause discomfort and pain for many postpartum women. Dietary changes, such as increasing fiber intake, along with the use of topical treatments, can help manage these symptoms. It’s important to discuss these issues openly with healthcare providers, who can offer further advice and treatment options. Addressing hemorrhoids promptly can significantly reduce discomfort and aid in postpartum recovery.

Dealing with Diastasis Recti

Diastasis recti, the separation of abdominal muscles after childbirth, is another challenge that may not be immediately apparent. Specific exercises and techniques can help in strengthening and repairing the abdominal area. However, it’s essential to seek advice from healthcare professionals or a physical therapist to ensure these exercises are performed safely and effectively. This personalized guidance can support a more successful recovery of abdominal muscle strength and integrity.

Improving Nutrition

During the postpartum period, proper nutrition is essential for a mother’s recovery, aiding in the body’s healing process and the restoration of strength. By integrating nutrient-rich foods into your diet and utilizing top-rated kitchen gadgets, meal preparation becomes not only simpler but also ensures the intake of vital vitamins and minerals. This balanced approach to nutrition significantly benefits both physical recuperation and mental health, underlining its fundamental role in postpartum care. Emphasizing the value of nourishing the body with quality foods and the support of efficient kitchen tools is paramount for the well-being and recovery of new mothers. 

Navigating the fourth trimester comes with its unique set of hurdles, from managing physical discomforts like mastitis and hemorrhoids to addressing emotional challenges such as postpartum mood disorders. By prioritizing self-care, seeking professional support when necessary, keeping medical records organized, and focusing on nutrition and organization, you can overcome these challenges. It’s essential for new mothers to acknowledge these issues and take proactive steps toward recovery and well-being, ensuring a smoother transition into motherhood.

Feature Image: Freepik

White Chocolate & Almond Blondies

I hope you enjoy my take on this delicious recipe, scrummy served with ice cream as an after dinner dessert or an indulgent snack, these Blondie’s were a hit with my family. 

Credit to janespatisserie’s white chocolate blondie recipe for the inspiration. I adapted it and created my yummy white chocolate and almond blondies. She has many blondie variations on her website, I would definitely recommend checking them out.

I’m not a professional baker nor am I an expert, but my goal for 2023 was to bake a birthday cake for all of my family members, I also made my very first 3 tiered wedding cake this year, and that sparked a passion for baking, and the more my confidence grows in the kitchen, the more I want to experiment with recipes and flavours.

Making My First Wedding Cake

These blondies were a real hit in our home, so I had to share how I made them. 

Tips & Advice

These blondies were an experiment, I had no idea how they would turn out or if they would even taste good, but in my mind white chocolate and almonds sounded nice together. Don’t be afraid to change up the flavours, switch out the almonds for another nut, or perhaps raspberries?.. That sounds good. My point is if it sounds good to you give it a go. At worst you’ll have a few wasted ingredients.

White chocolate is incredibly sweet, its also quite oily which in my opinion works in the blondie’s favour, as it makes them extra moist and gooey, feel free to add less while chocolate chunks or no chocolate chunks at all, like I said, experiment with what you think sounds nice to you.

Ovens are all different. I never tend to follow cooking guidelines on recipes, because my oven may to work the same as the baker’s. Ive adapted the ‘low and slow’ method for a lot of my bakes, I find its the safest option. Baking at a lower temperature for a longer period of time reduces the risk of an underbaked centre and burnt edges. I don’t have an oven thermometer, so I just play it safe, keep the temperature down and check on my bakes often.

You don’t NEED high quality white chocolate. We are a family on a budget, and I love to bake. So I have to adapt to making cheaper ingredients work. I used Molly’s white chocolate from Tesco and the blondies turned out great. I would imagine it has a higher oil content, but again, I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing when you’re aiming for a fudgy texture.  

It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a baking dish or tin that’s exactly 7”x10”, the size of your baking dish will just determine how thick your blondies will be. It may alter the way they bale in the oven, which is another reason I like the ‘low and slow’ method. 

Serves – 15

Calories – Approximately 364 per serving

What You’ll Need

7”x10” Baking Dish

325g White Chocolate 1787.5

175g Unsalted Butter 1255

100g Caster Sugar 400

100g Soft Light Brown Sugar 393

3 Eggs 465

90g Plain Flour 328

60g Ground Almonds 347

100g Blanched Almonds 581

Method

1. Preheat your oven to 170/150(fan) degrees celsius.

2. Line your baking dish with grease proof paper.

3. Add your butter and 175g of your white chocolate to a microwavable bowl and melt in the microwave in 10-20 second bursts, stirring in between so it doesn’t burn.

4. Add your sugars to the melted mixture and combine.

5. Add the eggs and combine. 

6. Mix in the plain flour and ground almonds. 

7. Chop up the remaining white chocolate and half of the almonds, add to the mixture and combine. 

8. Pour the mixture into your baking dish, scatter the remainder of the almonds on top. 

9. Bake in the oven for 45-60 minutes (I check on them at 30 minutes then every 10) or until the edges are slightly crispy, the top is nice and golden and its just stopped wobbling. 

10. Allow to cool completely before cutting, for extra clean slices, once cooled pop the uncut blondies in the fridge for an hour. 

11. Cut into 15 pieces. 

12. Serve and enjoy!

I hope you enjoy this recipe. If you give it a go or you made your own creation, be sure to tag me on Instagram – @mummyandavery

Disney World With Special Needs

My family and I recently came home from a two week trip to Orlando, Florida. Of course, we had to spend a lot of our time in the most magical place on Earth, Disney World. Two of my children have additional needs. My son Zachary has Autism, and my daughter, Avery has Cerebral Palsy. So how did Disney World shape up when it came to catering to my special needs children?

Anyone that has been to Disney World knows that it takes a bit of planning, especially if you want to ride the busiest rides, eat at your favourite restaurants and well, actually get into the parks..

If one or some of your party has additional needs, there’s a little more planning involved.

Avery has complex medical needs. She has HIE, which leads to an array of subsequent conditions – Cerebral Palsy, Dystonia, Epilepsy and she’s 100% G tube fed.

Of course, a lot of organisation was involved to make sure Avery was safe and well trekking around the parks in the Florida heat, but I’ll get to that a little later in this blog post.

Our Orlando Experience

Disability Access Service (DAS)

DAS is Disney Worlds disability access service, their way to ensure everyone can experience the magic. In short, anyone who cannot wait in a long line waiting for a ride or experience because of a medical condition or disability is eligible for a DAS pass. The pass allows you to book rides based on their current wait time, and you can go straight to the lightning lane when the time has lapsed.

For example, Thunder Mountain has a 60 minute wait time, you can book a DAS return time for 60 minutes time. Instead of waiting in line, you can go about your day, grab something to eat, use the toilet, stay in the shade, and head to the lighting lane at your return time.

This means you can avoid any meltdowns or mishaps you could experience in a line.

You can only book one ride at a time, you need to be scanned into a ride before you can book the next. A lot of the time, by the time you’ve exited one ride and walked to the next, it nearing your return time anyway.

For us it was almost impossible to wait in the long lines, DAS was our saviour.

How To Apply

There are two ways you can apply for a DAS pass, in advance or in the parks.

My experience with DAS pre-registration

There are pros and cons to both.

To apply in advance you need to join a chat, and wait for a cast member to invite you into a video call – this can take hours, and the person who needs the DAS needs to be present for the call. However, once you have spoken to a cast member, you are able to choose two pre selected rides for each of your days in the parks, this is in addition to booking your rides in the park.

To apply in the parks you can simply head to Guest Services, you don’t need to show proof of disabilities or conditions, unlike in Disneyland Paris where they do ask for documentation.

I chose to apply in advance to take advantage of the pre-selections. I waited about 3 hours for a cast member to join my chat, but it was smooth sailing from there.

Something to note is I am based in the UK, so I needed to sign up to a VPN server to get access to the DAS pre-registration. I used surfshark. The process was fairly straightforward.

Although my daughter was eligible for DAS, I chose to only register my son. Since Avery is only two, I knew Zachary would ride everything Avery could ride. We were a party of eight, and the cast member very kindly added us all to one pass (normally they only allow six).

Wheelchair Tag

The wheelchair tag is another accommodation Disney World makes to people with disabilities. The wheelchair tags are literally just a little red tag that attaches to the wheelchair (or in my case a stroller), and it lets cast members know that it’s a wheelchair, and the use can’t do without it. This allows you to take it into lines.

This was important for us, as we were carrying Avery’s many medications, and we needed to keep them close.

Rides

All of the cast members were extremely accommodating, and although Avery cannot sit unaided there was still tons that she could do and ride.

As a general rule we realised if a ride didn’t have a height restriction they were happy for us to sit Avery on our lap.

The Finding Nemo ride in Epcot even has a special cart for wheelchair users that don’t require any transfer.

We also took advantage of rider swap. Of course, there was also a lot that Avery couldn’t ride, but my boys really wanted to. So rider swap (child swap) allowed myself or my husband stay with Avery so that one of us could take the boys onto the ride. When they were done, we could swap so both me and my husband got to experience the ride.

Rider swap can be used in conjunction with DAS.

Medications & Equipment

The cast members barely batted an eyelid at Avery’s medical supplies.. and we were carrying a lot of it.

After doing a lot of research we decided to take her bottles of medication in their original packaging, instead of pre-filling syringes, just incase there were any questions. I also carried doctors notes, just in case.

There was only one day that Avery’s medicine bag was checked – there were no questions asked.

Tip!

If you have a basket below your stroller or wheelchair, use a nappy caddy below for organisation and easy transferring. We did this, and it made storing everything and maundering through security so much easier.

What we learned as the time went on is that the cast members would only check things that didn’t set the machines off. So my husband carried the nappy caddy and bags through security, and I would stay with Avery and the stroller. This way, the cast members didn’t need to check the bags. It saved us so much time.

To store Avery’s medicine, we just used a small cooler bag with ice blocks, this slotted nicely in the nappy caddy under the stroller, and it kept her medicine and feed below 25 degrees celsius all day.

Luckily, we didn’t need to carry refrigerated medicine into the parks, but if you do, they have first aid buildings where you can store them. I would take a note from a professional – just incase.

All in all – I was really impressed at Disney’s level of inclusivity.

We had already travelled to Disneyland Paris, and were incredibly happy with how easy they made the experience for a special needs family, so we had high expectations, and they didn’t disappoint.

Disneyland Paris Experience

Flying Overseas With A Disabled Child

Disclaimer: I am not a professional, I am simply speaking from the experience of planning this trip, there may be things I have missed. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you think I have. There may also be things that are irrelevant or different based on your destination.

Planning an overseas trip takes planning, planning an overseas trip with kids takes a lot of planning and planning an overseas trip with a child with disabilities or medical needs is a tactical mission.

Two years ago, I started planning a two week trip from the UK to Orlando, Florida for our family of six. Our daughter, Avery has Cerebral Palsy, among other conditions – it’s safe to say her medical needs are pretty complex!

I wanted to write this post to share what I’ve learned along the way, the do’s and the don’ts and how you can plan an overseas trip with your disabled child. 

I won’t lie, there’s a lot of ground to cover, a lot of planning is involved and the process can feel a little overwhelming. But hopefully I can help you start. In my opinion no child should have to sacrifice as a result of medical needs, sadly that’s not always the case, but planning a family holiday is possible. 

First things first…

This is your first step, before you book, before you even decide on a destination, touch base with your child’s medical professionals. Are they fit to fly? The last thing you want is to fork out a deposit when traveling isn’t actually safe for your little one. Do they have a condition that could be affected by the high altitude or cabin pressure? Do they have any medical devices that aren’t compatible with flying? 

If your child isn’t fit to fly, you may still have other options. Travel by car or ship? Unfortunately, if there’s a reason why your child can’t travel at all, you just need to cut your losses. Safety first! But that doesn’t mean there won’t be a chance in the future.   

Booking Your Trip

This part is customisable, decide where you’d like to go. Think about your child’s needs, do they cope well in the heat? If not, perhaps choose a cooler destination or travel out of season in warmer climates. As for us, we are traveling in April, as we know Orlando in the summer will be far too warm for my daughter. 

In my opinion, package deals may be your best bet, especially if this is your first trip with your fragile little one. We are traveling with Virgin Holidays. Our flight, accommodation and car hire are covered, which means our special assistance booking applies to all, saving us a bit of extra work.

Speaking of special assistance…

I 100% recommend you take advantage of this. Last year I traveled from Gatwick, there was a separate security for special assistance bookings and families, and there was a quiet area. It was much less overwhelming than the usual hustle and bustle of an airport. On our way home we were chauffeured by a buggy, straight through passport control and to the luggage carousel. I was very impressed with the service, and will be using it this time around. 

Travel Insurance 

You need it. Non negotiable. There are many companies that specialize in pre-existing medical conditions. I would start there. 

Just a heads up – it is generally more expensive than if you don’t have medical conditions. The severity of the conditions can change the price massively. 

When I set up our insurance, Avery was only 6 months old. Therefore not considered ‘immobile’, a year and a half later, my premium went up by 4x the original amount as she is 2 and technically should be walking (I could ramble on all day about the unfairness here but I won’t).

Make sure you keep the insurers up to date, if things change, you may not be covered. 

Traveling With Equipment and Supplies 

This will vary massively on your personal circumstances and your child’s conditions. So I’ll share what we’re traveling with and why.

Feeding Pump & Feeding Supplies – My daughter is 100% G tube fed so we will need everything she uses daily along with anything we may need in an emergency. This includes a spare button G tube, extra extension sets, giving sets, plenty of syringes, enough feed and extras, stoma stoppers and an NG tube just in case. 

Fortunately, we are staying in an apartment with a fully equipped kitchen, so we have access to a fridge and will be able to wash and reuse her syringes. Something to bear in mind if your accommodation does not have these things. Factor in how much you will need.

Firefly GoTo seat – This is mostly for the flight. Avery cannot support her own posture, she can’t sit unaided. So a plane seat just isn’t suitable for her. I can strap her GoTo seat to the plane seat, and that will provide her with enough postural support, at least for take off and landing (I imagine she will be held most of the flight). 

I did check with our airline to make sure this was suitable for the plane. Some equipment may not be. 

Pulse Oximeter – This is essential for us. Avery uses this when she sleeps every night to keep an eye on her oxygen levels. 

We are traveling with Avery’s stroller, but if you use a wheelchair, factor that in too. 

Essentially you should be traveling with everything your child either uses regularly or may need, either in an emergency or not. 

Some airlines will provide extra luggage allowance for medical equipment and supplies, so it’s definitely worth checking with them. 

Medicine 

This is probably the part of my planning that has caused me the most stress. Avery takes a lot of medicine, some of which are controlled drugs. My biggest fear is turning up at customs USA side and being detained or having her meds confiscated. That would be game over for us. I have done my research and am doing everything I can to avoid this.

Check the rules and regulations on medicines in the country you’re traveling to. In some countries certain drugs are not allowed.

Travel with medicines in their original containers and packaging and make sure they are all labeled with the correct name, dates and dosage, and only travel with as much as you will need for the duration of your trip, perhaps a little extra just in case of spillages (accidents happen).

Take up to date prescriptions and a note from your child’s doctor listing their medical conditions, medicines, and reasons for taking them. 

Paperwork 

Alongside paperwork and evidence for the medicines, you should take paperwork for everything you need that may be questionable. We are taking a letter from Avery’s dietician covering her feeding supplies and a letter from her nurse covering the GoTo seat. 

Don’t forget paper copies of pretty much everything else, your travel insurance documents, hotel confirmation, hire care paperwork, boarding passes and of course, your Covid passports. In my case I am also traveling with paper copies of our ESTA’s, but this may not be relevant to you – you should always check if you need any kind of visa for your destination.

Don’t rely on your phone, your battery could die, or you may not have internet. 

Hiring a car?

This was a boo-boo on my part. We had planned to travel with Avery’s own car seat, until one of my lovely subscribers reminded me to check the regulations. Low and behold, EU regulations are different to the USA regarding car seats, and her car seat doesn’t meet theirs.

We will now be hiring one through our car hire company, luckily they have seats that will meet Avery’s needs, but last minute changes make me nervous, and I wish I checked this sooner. 

Be Prepared For An Emergency

It’s not nice to think an emergency situation will happen on your family holiday, but its better to be safe than sorry. Research the closest hospital to your accommodation, make sure they have a Pediatric unit and an Emergency Department.  

Make sure all of your child’s medical professionals know about your trip, when and where you’re going. They can’t do a lot from that far away, but there are always phones and emails. 

Lastly, always travel with essential medical equipment in your hand luggage. All medicines, enough feeding supplies for a few days, and anything your child would need in an emergency. Luggage can get lost, the last thing you want is start your trip trying to source medical supplies. 

There’s probably things I’ve missed or forgotten to mention. But I feel pretty prepared for our trip knowing Avery should have everything she will need. I know where the closest hospital is and I know her doctors are on the other end of the phone.  

Artistic Therapy and Artistic Fun for Special Needs Children


Image via Unsplash

If you have a child with a learning disability, you’re well aware of the challenges your child faces every day as he or she tries to navigate the world. What you might not know is that the arts can offer your child unique therapy, a means of developing critical skills, and a lot of fun all at the same time. If you want to introduce your child to the joys of arts, this guide can help you get started.

To learn more about navigating life as the parent of children with special needs, visit Mummy & Avery today! 

Introducing the Arts

Your first step in taking advantage of this artistic therapy and fun is to introduce your child to the arts. You might begin by simply giving your child paper and paints or crayons and asking him or her to draw a picture of a favorite animal. You could also provide some modeling clay or other craft materials and help your child create something fun and interesting. Arts and crafts like this help your child develop motor skills and spatial reasoning.

If your child shows an interest in music, sing with him or her using sing-along materials and even basic sheet music. Introduce small percussion instruments like shakers or claves to teach rhythm, or help your child pick out notes on a piano and play some simple songs to learn about sounds and pitch.

You might enroll your child in a beginner’s dance class. Dance can greatly enhance a child’s coordination and motor control. Alternatively, dance with your child at home to some favorite music.

If your child shows an interest in drama, download some simple dialogues or scripts. You and your child can prepare a dialogue together, or you can gather some of your child’s friends and put on a little play. The kids can get creative designing and making costumes and scenery. Drama activities enhance your child’s language abilities, memorization skills, and knowledge of history and literature.

Creating an Art Space

To encourage your child to pursue his or her artistic interests, consider creating a designated art space in your home. You could use part of the basement or a spare room. Set up an arts and crafts table with a variety of drawing and crafting supplies. Gather some musical instruments and sheet music and provide a way for your child to listen to music and sing along. 

If your child likes to dance or act, clear a space for a small stage and practice area. A colorful, fun art space can stimulate your child’s creativity, and it might even increase the value of your home if you decide to sell at some point.

An art space can be a great place for you and your child to spend time together, which can be difficult during busy work seasons. Using this shared space together can be a great way to create experiences and memories that you’ll both treasure for a lifetime.

Starting a Business

As you introduce your child to the arts, you might discover that you have a knack for teaching and want to start a business of your own, perhaps giving art lessons to other children. If this sounds like you, consider registering your business as a limited company.

Loving Art

The arts can provide both you and your child with unique opportunities for learning and fun, so begin your journey into learning through art today. Along with helping your child experience the joy of art, you may even start your own business. 

My Baby Survived A 40 Minute Cardiac Arrest

I’ve been sharing our journey a little over six months now, my daughter, the struggles that come with her severe brain injury and how our lives differ because of it.. but I never shared how she got her brain injury in the first place.

There are a few reasons I held back on sharing her story, and the what happened leading up to her event.

I was ashamed, embarrassed, scared, angry.. a lot of emotions went into mu decision of keeping that part of our journey private. But most of all, I just wasn’t ready to relive it.

No matter how your baby acquired their injury or condition, the event itself will always hold some deep emotions that plague the back of your mind. I’m sure I have PTSD.. I’m self diagnosing here, I’ve not spoken to a professional about my feeling since Avery left hospital (I do plan to in the future).

I finally decided to share the story of Avery’s cardiac arrest, why? Because if opening up my life on the internet has taught me anything it’s that I’m not alone.

What gave me the final push to publish this video, is that I decided to donate the Adsense to the charity that helped us when we were going through the worst time of our lives.

The Grand Appeal are a Charity that work with Bristol Royal Hospital For Children, they offer so much to children and their families that are in hospital.

For my husband and I, they gave us a place to stay so we could be close to our newborn daughter when she was fighting for her life.

It’s an incredible cause and I would encourage everyone to donate, even if you just watch the video, you are still contributing.

Learn more about The Grand Appeal here – https://www.grandappeal.org.uk

I am going to add a TRIGGER WARNING here, I go into detail in these videos, viewer discretion is advised.

All Adsense from this video is being donated to The Grand Appeal
The second part of our journey
Categories
Special Needs Family Life

Why It’s Scary When My Disabled Baby Gets Sick

We all get sick from time to time, especially at this time of year. Children seem to be breeders of these pesky little viruses. Usually, we can shake off a common cold with little to no downtime. But what happens when a compromised child gets sick?

My daughter, Avery is 19 months old. She has Cerebral Palsy caused by a severe hypoxic event when she was just three days old. 

Avery’s body and mind has to work so much harder than a neurotypical child’s to do even the simplest of things that most (including me) take for granted. She is also g tube fed – and an open stoma can be a sitting duck for infections, even if you’re very clean. 

Avery has had her fair share of illnesses, as a matter of fact, I would say she is poorly more than she is well. It takes her longer than average to brew an illness – which leaves us wondering why she is so grumpy for days, and it takes her longer than average to shake off an illness once it has reared its ugly head. 

In the last 9 months alone, she has had two UTI’s, many stoma infections and countless colds and upper respiratory tract infections, as well as the big bad ‘C’ that we have all come to know. So I have come to learn hhow Avery’s body reacts to being under the weather. 

It usually happens in stages.

Stage One – The Unknown: days of picking apart what has changed to make Avery so grumpy. Her reflux is horrific and her dystonic patterns are out of control. 

Dystonia is a condition that Avery has as a result of her brain injury. It is a movement disorder that causes involuntary and often painful movements and spasms, made worse by pain, fatigue and of course – illness. The reflux and the Dystonia tend to feed off of each other, so it really is a catch 22.

Stage Two – The Vomiting: Vomiting is a key giveaway for Avery. Although she has reflux, it is usually silent. But when she’s poorly she barely keeps anything down. 

Stage Three – The Symptoms: The moment of realisation as to why we’ve needed to work ten times harder to keep Avery happy and settled. Depending on the illness, the symptoms usually consist of fevers and snot. 

Stage Four – The Aftermath: As if being poorly isn’t bad enough, the illness itself is the mild part. Usually, after a few days of battling whatever illness has graced us with its presence, Avery will start to cough and splutter. Recently this has become an indication that she has aspirated some of the vomit and secretions that she has been struggling with. 

Aspirating is when a substance (whether that’s food, mucus or vomit) goes to the lungs. Have you ever felt like a drink went down the wrong way and it’s left you choking for a couple of seconds? That’s aspiration – most cope with it fine and it doesn’t cause any serious effects. Avery, however does not cope well. Her lungs are so very little and because of her brain injury she doesn’t have the strongest swallow to coordination. Which can land her with a bout of Aspiraiton Pneumonia.

As I type, Avery is recovering from her most recent illness. 

We went through our usual stages, days of poor sleep, no routine, uncontrollable dystonic patterns and reflux – followed by a lot of vomiting. 

One morning she woke up incredibly bunged up and snotty – I had hoped we had gotten away with a simple cold this time, boy was I mistaken! 

That night, after giving her a nebuliser to help clear some of her secretions, we put her down to bed. 

I was woken by her SATs monitor alarming. Avery’s heart rate had shot up to nearly 200 bpm, which is very high for her, even when she is worked up. 

Upon inspecting her I noticed she was making some strange sounds and movements, but I had seen them before – She was having a Febrile Convulsion. 

A Febrile Convulsion is a seizure caused by a high temperature. It can happen in any child, and Avery had had one in the past. She had indeed spiked a fever in the night. Luckily she came out of the seizure with no help, and after some paracetamol she settled back to sleep. I wish I could say the same for myself!

The next few days were the same in terms of symptoms – fevers, vomiting and secretions. Not pleasant but all things we were used to and comfortable managing at home. 

On the fifth day of Avery’s illness her Community Nurse had come to run a test on Avery’s secretions, this involved sucking some of her mucus from her nose, and sending it off to be tested for viral and bacterial infections. We wouldn’t get the results for a few more days. 

Avery was unusually lethargic this morning, I put her down for an early nap and she slept for three hours! This is not normal for Avery. Most days we’re grateful if she gets a 30 minute sleep in. 

I checked on her while she slept. Her breathing didn’t seem right, and she had spiked another fever. When she woke I fed her and gave her some paracetamol and ibuprofen to try and bring her temperature down. She proceeded to throw it all up!

After that I phoned Pediatric Observations, which is our local hospital’s children’s ward admission unit. Luckily Avery has open access to the unit because of her g tube, and I’ve been incredibly grateful for this on many occasions.

Paed Obs said to bring her in to get checked over, so my husband rushed home from work, my Mum took our boys and off we went to hospital.

After being sat in the triage room with nothing but an examination bed to rest Avery down on for 8 hours, we were sent home with some answers. Avery had been given a chest x-ray which showed that she had a mild case of Aspiration Pneumonia – her second case in just three months. She was given a course of antibiotics and off we went. 

Over the weekend, we tried our best to keep Avery comfortable. She still wasn’t coping brilliantly but we knew it would take a few days for the antibiotics to kick in. So we settled into a routine of giving her nebulisers, suctioning, and cleaning her up after she vomited. 

On the Monday, we finally had Avery’s results from the test the Community Nurse had done the previous Friday. Avery has tested positive for RSV, which stands for respiratory syncytial virus – a respiratory viru that usually causes cold like symptoms. I can confirm that the rest of our household did experience said symptoms. For Avery, however it wasn’t that simple. 

Like clockwork, the same night we received her test results, we put her to bed, connected her to her SATs monitor, like always, and got ready to settle down to sleep.

Then her monitor started to alarm. Avery’s oxygen had started to drop to 91%. Blood oxygen levels in children should be above 92% to be considered ‘safe’.

So I made another call to Paed Obs, who advised us to bring Avery back to the hospital.

On arrival, the nurses hooked Avery up to their SATs monitor, and sure enough her oxygen had settled itself at 90%. So the Doctor on call decided it would be safer for Avery to be admitted in case she needed extra oxygen. 

My husband left to get back to our boys, and I mad myself comfortable on the fold out bed next to Avery’s hospital crib. By this point her oxygen had dropped even further to 89%, so the nurse hooked her up to the oxygen, and she slept with a mask on for the rest of the night. 

The next day was a wait and see game. Neither us or the Doctors were comfortable seeing Avery home wihile her oxygen level were dropping below 90%, unfortunately they continued to do this for the next two days. 

Avery needed an oxygen mask to keep her oxygen levels safe

By the Wednesday night, Avery had had enough sleep where her oxygen had stayed at safe levels for her to be discharged, 

We were sent home with a prophylactic antibiotic for Avery to be given 3 times a week over the winter, this should help keep some infections away. In all honestly after pleading and venting to doctors for the previous few months, I was a little irritated that we didn’t know about this option sooner!

Avery is doing better now – and I’m really hoping these new antibiotics work.

Considering Avery is vulnerable and compromised when it comes to illness, I know we were actually very lucky that she only needed a little oxygen. It could have been so much worse. 

This is just another hurdle in our journey, and another cruel characteristic of her brain injury. 

Categories
Special Needs Family Life

Amazon Must Have’s

Avery has been using this muslin blanket since she was born.

(Some links in this blog post are affiliate links, so I may make a small commission should you purchase through the links. There is no additional charge to you. Thank you for your continued support) 

Amazon. The shopping marketplace that we all know and love. 

I’ve had my fair share of duds from Amazon, especially since I fancy myself a bit of a budget Queen and tend to scrimp a little perhaps when I shouldn’t. 

But I’ve also found some absolute staples on Amazon, these are the products I’ll be sharing in this blog.

In my mind, a ‘favourite’ isn’t just an item I like, it’s something I either use or have used and enjoyed over and over again. 

I can’t say these items are must haves for everyone, as everyone’s circumstances and product needs are different, but if you happen to have been looking for the things I mention  I 100% recommend each of them. 

So – let’s get into it!

Want more Amazon favourites? Check out my video.

A Special Needs Mom’s Amazon Favourites

First off, we’re going to start in the kitchen, the heart of the home – and a place that can become incredibly cluttered without effort. One of my kitchen cupboards was overflowing with various sized pots, pans and oven trays that I had collected over the years. Most of them had lost their non-stick element, and I probable only ever used two or three. 

Then I found my love for cast iron and cast aluminum. 

I now keep three cooking vessels in my kitchen, and I use them for pretty much everything. 

Cast Iron Skillet

Let’s start with a cast iron skillet – this has become a staple in my kitchen. This heavy-duty pan can withstand a decent amount of heat so it’s perfect for hob to oven cooking, and if looked after a cast iron skillet will last you generations. 

They do take a bit of upkeep – regular seasoning to keep food from sticking and to keep it from rusting, but as soon as you’ve mastered how to care for and cook with your skillet – it can replace a ton of your other pans. 

They’re also inexpensive, which is a bonus! My favorite things I use my skillet for are pancakes and Dutch babies – but the possibilities are endless. Because it is made out of cast iron it is extremely versatile – you can use it in a pizza oven, on a BBQ, on your hob and in the oven.

I have linked the one I purchased over a year ago and I still love cooking with it.

Cast Aluminium Casserole Pot

The only two other pots I keep in my kitchen are my cast aluminium casserole pots. Don’t let the name fool you, these pots can be used for tons of different things. I use mine to roast, fry, bake, boil and steam – they have pretty much replaced all other pots, pans and oven trays. 

Because these pots are made from aluminium, there’s no need for seasoning. They’re incredibly easy to clean and easy to use. 

Unfortunately, the exact ones I purchased are no longer available, but i have linked a similar pot above. 

Next, I’m going to move into baby items – My daughter, Avery is 20 months old, but she has Cerebral Palsy, so a lot of the items I purchased when she was a newborn or even before she was born I still use and love now.

Swaddle Blankets

I bought this set of two swaddle blankets before Avery was born. I didn’t expect them to still be a part of our daily routine 20 months later. 

Aside from the adorable designs, these muslin blankets are a nice big size, slightly stretchy – perfect for swaddling and they are much softer than a lot of other muslin fabric I’ve used. 

Yes, I still swaddle Avery at nap time, as it keeps her nice and secure so her dystonic movements don’t wake her as often. These blankets are also a brilliant alternative to a thicker blanket in the warm summer months.

Snuza Hero MD Breathing Monitor

This funny looking device single handedly allowed my husband and I to sleep restfully after my daughter came home from hospital post brain injury. 

Avery stopped breathing in the night when she was three days old – and we are very lucky to still have her with us. As you can imagine once the nurses and monitors were no longer around, we became quite paranoid. 

Before we were able to get our hands on a SATs monitor, we made a very last minute purchase of the Snuza Hero after a recommendation from our health visitor. 

The device clipped onto the front of Avery’s nappy, and would make a little clicking sound for every breath Avery took. If there was a stretch of time where Avery didn’t breath, the device would alarm. Granted, it wasn’t a loud alarm, but with all that had happened we were almost programmed to hear any unusual noises in the night. 

It felt like a little safety net, and was a lifesaver in those early days. 

Next I’m going to move onto what I like to call my ‘tech gadgets’ (but not really because I’m not techy in the slightest).

Laptop Stand

I have a very old 2011 MacBook Pro, I bought it second hand five years ago, it stopped receiving updates years ago, it crashes on my constantly and it always overheats. 

However, a new MacBook is not within my budget just yet, so I needed to get creative about extending it’s life a little longer. 

That’s where the laptop stand came in. It raises the laptop off of whatever surface it’s on and allows for better airflow beneath it. Since using the stand my laptop doesn’t get nearly as hot. 

That was the only reason I purchased the stand, but it’s actually working wonders for my back, as I’m hunching over a lot less. 

I’ve had my fair share of duds from Amazon, especially since I fancy myself a bit of a budget Queen and tend to scrimp a little perhaps when I shouldn’t. 

iPad Stylus

I recently bought a new iPad – another attempt to try and take some pressure off my laptop. I desperately wanted the Apple Magic Pencil to go with it, but I couldn’t justify the price tag. 

So I took to good old Amazon, and to my surprise there were plenty of comparable stylus pens. 

I absolutely love my stylus, and I get my moneys worth 100%. I use it to amp up my YouTube thumbnails now and again, I use it to create my digital product which I sell on Etsy, and I can now do digital planning on my iPad, which conveniently keeps all of my planning in one place. 

The only downside is it needs to be charged every now and again, but that’s not a deal breaker. 

That’s where I’ll leave it for now. I have many more Amazon finds that have become favorites, so maybe I’ll do a follow up blog post soon. 

Categories
Special Needs Family Life

The Importance Of Self-Care As A Parent/Carer

Parenthood to a baby or small child is a full-time job. Being a carer is also a full-time job. Both equally as important, both incredibly rewarding and both very hard work.

A parent/carer, is sadly a name that is given to a lot of parents as a result of some kind of trauma. Whether that be an event during labor and delivery, a result of medical negligence or another reason. 

My daughter Avery, was just three days old when she suffered a 40 minute cardiac arrest, resulting in a severe hypoxic brain injury and Cerebral Palsy, among other conditions. Thus, parent/carer was my new title and lifestyle. 

Life is challenging. 

See what a morning in our life looks like.

As much as I love all three of my children, and would sacrifice my last breath for them, this last year and a half have really tested my sanity. 

During my pregnancy with my third baby, and only little girl, I dreamed of sweet cuddles, the magnificent bond through breastfeeding and watching her wrap her brothers around her beautiful little finger.

I still get those sweet cuddles, in between fighting with Avery’s very persistent Dystonic spasms. Breastfeeding was a lost cause the day severe reflux reared its ugly head and well – Avery certainly still has everyone wrapped around her little finger. 

But her life isn’t what I had dreamed of for her. My life isn’t what I had dreamed of. 

Every day is a constant battle of high tone, Dystonia, tube feeding and reflux. 

Being a parent/carer takes a great deal of energy, through those many sleepless nights, whether Avery is restless through sensory overload or she happened to cough before she fell to sleep which has me staring at her SATs monitor all night. 

It takes a great deal of motivation. Persisting with numerous therapies and feeling when you’re seeing little results. 

It takes time, even just getting out of the house can take an extra hour to prepare. 

You may think that this blog post is just me complaining about life, and I can totally see that. But there is a very important reason I have chosen to start on a negative note – I want every parent/carer to remember that it’s ok not to be ok. 

It’s ok to admit that you’re struggling. It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to need a break.

For such a long time I felt like it was such a miracle that Avery was still with us, and we had been given a precious gift of a second chance, that I felt guilty every time I was irritated, angered or upset by this new life we had been given.

One of my very wise YouTube subscribers once said to me, ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup’, and especially as a parent/carer – these are words to live by. 

Self care is so incredibly important – for anyone, not just us parents and parent/carers. But when someone relies on you to help them live a fulfilled life, the best example you can give is that you need to look after yourself. 

Whenever you travel by plane, in case of emergency you are always advised to put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others – because if you run out of oxygen, how will you stay conscious to put someone else’s mask on? This, in my opinion, is not just flight safety, it’s a life lesson!

A few months ago I was offered the opportunity to visit my older cousin in Crete, with my Mum, Aunt and younger cousin. 

I had never been away from Avery before, I’d only just started feeling comfortable leaving her with my Mum for a couple of hours, so naturally, my first response was – ABSOLUTELY NOT!

But, after a very long chat with my husband, expressing my concerns and going back and forth – a lot, we decided that it would be a good thing for me to take a break.

How I felt about leaving

I went away for five days, leaving my husband behind with our children, which in itself was a nerve-wracking thought. Sure, he was perfectly capable, but I’m a stay at home Mom, it was just me and Avery while the boys were at school. 5 days a week, every week. 

I was worried she would miss me, I was worried she would wonder where I was, I was worried my husband would struggle. 

I knew my boys would be fine, at the ages of six and nine they find anything unordinary exciting.

I spent the two weeks prior getting everything in order so my absence would be as easy as possible for my husband. By the time the trip came around, I was exhausted, and in desperate need of a break. 

The week leading up to my trip

I cried when I said goodbye to my babies, and it took me a few hours of traveling to the airport, and a couple of video calls with Avery to stop sulking. 

When I finally let myself be present I was grateful for it. I missed the kids, I missed home, but for a few days, it was really nice to run off of my own time. I ate when I was hungry, not when I had the time to. I slept in silence, without the roaring of a sound machine in the next room (which was weird at first but I got used to it!). I laid on a sun lounger for the majority of the day and only got up if I wanted to, I even had a couple of naps!

All in all the break was needed more than I thought. It gave me a chance to relax, reflect and reset.

The vlog from my trip

Of course life was still waiting to take me back with open arms, everything was exactly where I left it (just a little messier). My apprehension was from a place in my mind that was conjured up by my own anxieties. 

Back to reality

Long story short, there is no shame in needing a break from your lifestyle. It doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve what you have. It doesn’t make you any less of a parent, carer or person. 

A break doesn’t have to come in the form of a trip or time away. It could be a soak in the bath, a bit of extra time to do your hair or makeup, a salon appointment, or some tie to focus on a hobby you enjoy. Just a little bit of time to reflect and reset can do the world of good, and I would highly recommend it.

Categories
Special Needs Family Life

How To Stay Organised As A Busy Mom

Being a Mom can be hectic. So an element of organisation is needed to avoid absolute chaos. I am a stay-at-home Mom of three, among everything else included in that job role (cook, made launder, teacher and so on). 

Two of my three children have additional needs, my son, Zachary has Autism. My daughter, Avery has Cerebral Palsy, Dystonia, Severe Reflux and is 100% g tube fed. I’m also working on building my brand, creating content, YouTube videos, blog posts, Instagram posts, as well as building my Etsy shop with digital products. 

Being organised isn’t just something that helps life run smoothly for me. It is the very pinnacle of my coping strategy. Without organisation, I become overrun, overwhelmed and quite frankly, at the edge of breaking point. 

There’s a few simple things I have added into my daily life and routine, to make sure I keep control of what I can. After all, organisation really is the control of what you will and wont do. 

I’m sharing these things with you all because, well, hopefully some of you may find it helpful. Whether that’s because you find some of these tips handy, or maybe you have a similarly chaotic life to me, and can just relate. Plus, organisation is my thing, so writing a blog post about it is an enjoyable way to spend my time. (Yes, I am sad).

So, without further a due, here are my tips on how to stay organised as a busy Mom. 

How To Stay Organised As A Busy Mom

Tackle the bulk of your to do list in the morning.

Have you ever noticed that if you eat breakfast first thing in the morning, it kick starts your appetite? Odd comparison, I know, but I like to think its simalar with productivity. I find that if I do something that productive first thing in the morning, it drives me to continue to be productive. You’re essentially starting the day as you mean to go on, setting off on the right note, and those are the best kind of days. 

Not only that, if I can tackle my to do list as early in th day as possible, I know the rest of my day is carefree. I can just spend time with my children and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment. 

Don’t delay the small tasks.

This is a mistake! Little tasks have a big way of building up until you have a to do list a mile long. I don’t know about you guys, but I find when a task wont take my long, it appears as less of a priority. Therefore I tend to procrastinate and the job just doesn’t get done, it gets put off and buried into that space in my mind of all the little things I must get done until that space is bursting at the seams. 

As a general rule, if a task makes its way onto your to do list, and you know it will only take ten minutes or less, get it done! Don’t put it off. You’ll feel better having that little tick on your list. 

Which brings me onto my next tip.

Me and my three beautiful children

Write lists. Lists, lists and more lists. 

My husband thinks I make things over complicated, I disagree. The more detailed I make my planning the more at ease I feel. That’s where lists come in. 

The mind can often feel liberated when everything has been pulled from it and written onto paper (or phone, tablet etc since were in a modern world).

I can often feel incredibly overwhelmed when I know I have a lot of things to do, but when I write it down, my to do list seems a whole lot less intimidating and more manageable, my mind feels instantly clearer and I feel more motivated. 

This next tip kind of goes hand in hand with the last…

Write things down!

You know how annoying it is when you know you need something, or need to do something, but you can’t quite remember what that something is? I know, I’ve been there.

Best way to combat this? Write it down, straight away. 

Whether its a scribble on paper or a quick note in an app on your phone, you’ll thank yourself for not playing the guessing game of ‘remember the thing’.

I’ve found this incredibly helpful when it comes to planning my YouTube videos. Creativity often sparks when I’m all cosy and comfy in bed. There’s been times where I’ve trusted my brain to remember til morning and my brain did me dirty. 

Now, I just grab my phone and jot a quick few words into my notes. This will do until I have time to properly add that idea into my content calendar. 

What a day in our life looks like

Use a daily or weekly planner. 

This is an absolute must for me, as a matter of fact, I have a calendar for our whole family, a paper planner as a backup, and my digital planner. 

I have a busy life, it full of hospital appointments, school functions, therapies and extra curricular activities, and that’s just my children’s stuff. 

There would be absolutely no way I would remember anything if i didn’t have my days planned out. 

I like a planner that keeps everything in one place. Things that I know I need to keep track of every week or month, this is usually things like food shopping lists, monthly finances and of course, my to do lists. 

This is exactly why i created my own. I took everything I thought would be needed in a week to week planner and made it in one simple document, which i imported into my GoodNotes app. It’s been an absolute game changer, and I have to say, I’m totally converted from paper to digital planning. 

My digital planner available on my Etsy shop
Shop my planner

If you prefer traditional pen and paper, I recommend the planners from https://sotypicalme.co.uk/ they’re completely customisable from what you need space for in your planner right down to the front page and binder colour. 

Whether you chose physical or digital. A planner is a non negotiable. Planning your time wisely is a life skill not to be taken for granted. 

How do you plan your time wisely? You may ask.

This is where prioritising comes in. When you know what your tasks are for the day, decide which are the most important. This is most likely going to be appointments or meetings that have other people involved. 

Once you’ve worked out where your primary focus should be, organise the rest of your tasks in a similar way, highest to lowest priority. Plan to tackle your lower priority tasks at a time when you know you may be distracted.

Challenge your time. 

There’s nothing like some healthy competition. Especially when you’re competing with time. As a busy Mom I find I only get short burst of time where I can focus all of my attention on one thing (this is usually my daughter’s nap time).

Avery’s naps are not consistent, but I know she will usually sleep for at least 20 minutes. So for that 20 minutes, I set myself a challenge. Whether that’s a speed clean of the house, writing a blog post or editing a video, if I know I’m on a time crunch, I’m much less likely to be distracted. 

All that hard work deserves a reward, right?

With that being said, don’t forget to give yourself some incentive. 

If you know your going to be rewarded for the work you put in you’re much more likely to put some effort into it. 

This doesn’t have to be over complicated. If you get that load of washing put away, allow yourself to sit down and watch an episode of your favourite TV show. 

Following on from this…

Allow yourself time to rest.

This tip I am incredibly guilty of not implementing into my life. I have anxiety, so it’s in my chemical makeup to never want to sit still. But even I know that if you don’t allow your body to take a break and catch up you’re going to reach a point of burnout. 

Trust me, I know!

Everything should be in moderation. Work hard, play hard. 

My last tip is probably the most important. 

Be prepared not to be prepared. 

As much as I would love it to be, life isn’t as simple as making a list and working your way through it. 

Life is.. well, life! Sometimes it has other plans. Some circumstances aren’t always foreseen. Appreciate the fact that you can’t always have control of every situation and sometimes things need to be adjusted. The ability to adapt is one of the best skills you can learn and implement into your life. 

I hope you enjoyed these tips and maybe even found them helpful. For my life, being organised has helped provide me with clarity, and a sense of control over my own life.